RE: and, make sure its over by 7pm, degrassi high is on... Â :)

[Guest guest]

vote for the story!!

i'll take runnerup award

 

" jojo " <tofujojo wrote:

 

>LOL!  I don't know what was funnier -- Fraggle's heading or the story itself...

I miss Spike!

>

>--jojo

>  -

>  EBbrewpunx

>  bevanmetro ; snappythealligator ;

darquehaven ; agibbons ; froggywogg

; tfhb ;

>  Tuesday, April 09, 2002 7:01 AM

>   and, make sure its over by 7pm, degrassi high is on...

>

>

>  HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

>

>  They Ask " How Come No One Fights in Big Famous Nations Anymore? "

>  Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school

>  students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure

>  nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead

>  attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, Australia, and

>  Austria, unless, they said, those last two are the same country.

>

>   " People claim we don't know as much geography as our parents and

>  grandparents, but it's so not our fault, " Josh Beldoni, a senior at

>  Fischer High School in Los Angeles, told the Senate Armed Services

>  Committee.   " Back then they only had wars in, like, Germany and England,

>  but we're supposed to know about places like Somalia and Massachusetts. "

>

>   " Macedonia, " corrected committee Chairman Carl Levin of Michigan.

>

>   " See? " said Beldoni.

>

>  Beldoni's frustration was shared by nearly three dozen students at the

>  hearing, who blamed the U.S. military for making them look bad.   " I

>  totally support our soldiers and all that, but I am seriously failing

>  both geography and social studies because I keep getting asked to find

>  Croatia or Yemvrekia, or whatever bizarre-o country we send troops to, "

>  said Amelia Nash, a junior at Clark High School in Orlando, FL.   " Can't

>  we fight in, like, Italy? It's boot-shaped. "

>

>  Chairman Levin however, explained that Italy was a U.S. ally, and that

>  intervention is usually in response to a specific threat.

>

>   " OK, what about Arulco? " interrupted Tyler Boone, a senior at Bellevue

>  High School in Wisconsin.   " That's a country in Jagged Alliance 2 run by

>  the evil Queen Deidranna.  I'm totally familiar with that place. She's a

>  major threat. "

>

>   " Jagged...? " said Levin.

>

>   " Alliance. It's a computer game. "

>

>   " Well, no, " Levin answered. " We can't attack a fictional country. "

>

>   " Yeah right, " Boone mumbled. " Like Grenada was real. "

>

>  The students' testimony was supported by a cross-section of high school

>  geography teachers, who urged the committee to help lay a solid

>  foundation for America's young people by curtailing any intervention

>  abroad.   " Since the anti-terror war began, most of my students can now

>  point to Afghanistan on a map, which is fine, but those same kids still

>  don't know the capitals of Nevada and Ohio, " said Richard Gerber, who

>  teaches at Rhymony High School in Atlanta. " I think we need to cut back

>  on our activities overseas and take care of business at home, and if that

>  means invading Tallahassee (FL) or Trenton (NJ) so that students learn

>  where they are, so be it. "

>

>   " I've always wanted to stick it to Hartford (CT), " said Sen. Lincoln

>  Chafee of Rhode Island. " Oh sh*t, is my microphone on? "

>

>  The hearing adjourned after six hours.  An estimated 2,000 more students

>  were expected to hold a march in the nation's capital, but forgot which

>  city it was in.

>

>

>