and, make sure its over by 7pm, degrassi high is on... :)

[Guest guest]

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

 

They Ask " How Come No One Fights in Big Famous Nations Anymore? "

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school

students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure

nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead

attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, Australia, and

Austria, unless, they said, those last two are the same country.

 

" People claim we don't know as much geography as our parents and

grandparents, but it's so not our fault, " Josh Beldoni, a senior at

Fischer High School in Los Angeles, told the Senate Armed Services

Committee. " Back then they only had wars in, like, Germany and England,

but we're supposed to know about places like Somalia and Massachusetts. "

 

" Macedonia, " corrected committee Chairman Carl Levin of Michigan.

 

" See? " said Beldoni.

 

Beldoni's frustration was shared by nearly three dozen students at the

hearing, who blamed the U.S. military for making them look bad. " I

totally support our soldiers and all that, but I am seriously failing

both geography and social studies because I keep getting asked to find

Croatia or Yemvrekia, or whatever bizarre-o country we send troops to, "

said Amelia Nash, a junior at Clark High School in Orlando, FL. " Can't

we fight in, like, Italy? It's boot-shaped. "

 

Chairman Levin however, explained that Italy was a U.S. ally, and that

intervention is usually in response to a specific threat.

 

" OK, what about Arulco? " interrupted Tyler Boone, a senior at Bellevue

High School in Wisconsin. " That's a country in Jagged Alliance 2 run by

the evil Queen Deidranna. I'm totally familiar with that place. She's a

major threat. "

 

" Jagged...? " said Levin.

 

" Alliance. It's a computer game. "

 

" Well, no, " Levin answered. " We can't attack a fictional country. "

 

" Yeah right, " Boone mumbled. " Like Grenada was real. "

 

The students' testimony was supported by a cross-section of high school

geography teachers, who urged the committee to help lay a solid

foundation for America's young people by curtailing any intervention

abroad. " Since the anti-terror war began, most of my students can now

point to Afghanistan on a map, which is fine, but those same kids still

don't know the capitals of Nevada and Ohio, " said Richard Gerber, who

teaches at Rhymony High School in Atlanta. " I think we need to cut back

on our activities overseas and take care of business at home, and if that

means invading Tallahassee (FL) or Trenton (NJ) so that students learn

where they are, so be it. "

 

" I've always wanted to stick it to Hartford (CT), " said Sen. Lincoln

Chafee of Rhode Island. " Oh sh*t, is my microphone on? "

 

The hearing adjourned after six hours. An estimated 2,000 more students

were expected to hold a march in the nation's capital, but forgot which

city it was in.

[Guest guest]

LOL! I don't know what was funnier -- Fraggle's heading or the story itself... I miss Spike!

 

--jojo

 

-

EBbrewpunx

bevanmetro ; snappythealligator ; darquehaven ; agibbons ; froggywogg ; tfhb ;

Tuesday, April 09, 2002 7:01 AM

and, make sure its over by 7pm, degrassi high is on...

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES They Ask "How Come No One Fights in Big Famous Nations Anymore?" Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high schoolstudents today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscurenations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and insteadattack places they've actually heard of, such as France, Australia, andAustria, unless, they said, those last two are the same country. "People claim we don't know as much geography as our parents and grandparents, but it's so not our fault," Josh Beldoni, a senior atFischer High School in Los Angeles, told the Senate Armed Services Committee. "Back then they only had wars in, like, Germany and England,but we're supposed to know about places like Somalia and Massachusetts.""Macedonia," corrected committee Chairman Carl Levin of Michigan. "See?" said Beldoni. Beldoni's frustration was shared by nearly three dozen students at the hearing, who blamed the U.S. military for making them look bad. "Itotally support our soldiers and all that, but I am seriously failingboth geography and social studies because I keep getting asked to findCroatia or Yemvrekia, or whatever bizarre-o country we send troops to,"said Amelia Nash, a junior at Clark High School in Orlando, FL. "Can'twe fight in, like, Italy? It's boot-shaped." Chairman Levin however, explained that Italy was a U.S. ally, and thatintervention is usually in response to a specific threat. "OK, what about Arulco?" interrupted Tyler Boone, a senior at BellevueHigh School in Wisconsin. "That's a country in Jagged Alliance 2 run bythe evil Queen Deidranna. I'm totally familiar with that place. She's amajor threat.Jagged...?" said Levin. "Alliance. It's a computer game.Well, no," Levin answered. "We can't attack a fictional country.Yeah right," Boone mumbled. "Like Grenada was real." The students' testimony was supported by a cross-section of high schoolgeography teachers, who urged the committee to help lay a solidfoundation for America's young people by curtailing any interventionabroad. "Since the anti-terror war began, most of my students can now point to Afghanistan on a map, which is fine, but those same kids still don't know the capitals of Nevada and Ohio," said Richard Gerber, whoteaches at Rhymony High School in Atlanta. "I think we need to cut backon our activities overseas and take care of business at home, and if thatmeans invading Tallahassee (FL) or Trenton (NJ) so that students learn where they are, so be it.I've always wanted to stick it to Hartford (CT)," said Sen. LincolnChafee of Rhode Island. "Oh sh*t, is my microphone on?" The hearing adjourned after six hours. An estimated 2,000 more studentswere expected to hold a march in the nation's capital, but forgot which city it was in. To send an email to -