this had me until the sour dough jack comment

[Guest guest]

....Kalispell, Montana-

 

Residents of a place called YAAK valley are trying

to have a small pack of WOLVES -recently arrived from

the TED TURNER ranch near Bozeman- removed from the

area.

Human resident Linda Stelnik recently videotaped the

outlaws pacing the perimiter of her property, and

complained to 'authorities'.

However, the Wolves have found out about the

removal effort, organized, and have now come forth

with a public list of demands, including:

1. Transplantation of 50% of the Human population to

nearby HELENA, where they can't hurt anybody*

2. Reintroduction of ELK herds depleted by hunters*

3. A five year permit to 'take' 10 human pelts per

year for sale and trade*

4. All shopping carts, golf balls and washing machines

removed from local lakes and ponds within 30 days of

this notice.

5. Thirty Thousand 'SOUR-DOUGH' jacks*

6. And finally, all street-signs added with the suffix

" A-o-W-o-o-o-o-o-o-! " (example-ELM -a-W-o-o-o-o)for a

distance of ten miles beyond city limits!

.......................................................

Berkshire, England-

 

....The last of the 'GREAT WHITE HUNTERS', Bunny Allen,

died at 95 years of age last week.

Here is a man who, in his prime, boasted of killing

a charging Rhino with a Masai spear, then dropping

three more with a rifle in 20 seconds!

...His arms were replete with Leopard bites, and

hips scarred with Buffalo Gorings.

What a 'MAN'.

...Oh, Mr. Allen? A message from the critters-

" !#@**+@! !@#$%^ & *+%#@!!!!#!**!! "

How weird to now have to be brought before the GREAT

HIPPOPATAMUS in the sky!

............................

ps- a special goodbye to a REAL heroine, ANITA

HENNESS, known the world over as the ''POSSUM LADY'~

she died last week at 60, after a lifetime of selfless

giving.

Anita, a message from the critters-

Many thanx....your lofty bed is now being prepared

with deep love, as colorful HUMMINGBIRDS draw back

soft cotton covers!

~Sleep Tight!~