Michael Moore

[Guest guest]

I'm With Stupid and Today Is the Day -- A Message from Michael Moore

 

2/19/02

 

Dear friends,

 

Today is, frankly, a day I thought I would never see. It is the day my book goes

on sale to the public. That should be a simple event, as it happens every day

with dozens of books that find their way to the bookstores of America.

 

But eight weeks ago it appeared as if this might never happen for my book,

" Stupid White Men. " In those dark December days, as I was told that " changes had

to be made, " I was left to wonder if the 50,000 copies that had already been

printed were well on their way to some big shredder in Pennsylvania. That was

the option I was given -- rewrite the book and " tone down your dissent, " or face

the prospect of your book being " pulped. "

 

I refused to change a word and the publisher backed down. And thus, today, you

are able to read my book, uncensored. What an odd thing to say in a free

society! " We have decided that you can now read Mike's book! " I have had a small

taste of the New Order in which we now live, and, folks, I gotta say, I don't

like it one bit. The only good thing to come out of it is that they made a big

mistake trying to silence the wrong guy.

 

I had suggested to my publisher that maybe they should slap a sticker on the

cover of my book reading, " APPROVED BY THE OFFICE OF HOMELAND SECURITY. " I

think any organization that is, in and of itself, an illusion meant to create a

false sense of safety, should at least have its own seal with a gummy back.

 

Can you keep a secret? This book is already at #1 on the expanded Amazon

Nonfiction Bestseller List, and I got word today from two regional book

distributors that the demand has been so high they are out of books! They were

so desperate for more copies that they contacted the author directly (as if I

had a few spare boxes of them out in the garage!).

 

I don't want the Axis of Uber-Evil -- Bush/Cheney/Ashcroft -- to find out how

well the book has been doing before it even goes on sale, as they must continue

to believe the media mantra of, " ALL Americans are behind George W. Bush! " and

" Hail W, for it is you who has the HIGHEST approval ratings ever! "

 

Let them take heart in that nonsense (who wouldn't tell a stranger, a

" pollster, " who has called you at home at 9 o'clock at night and asked you if

you " APPROVE " of your " President, " just as you were looking out your window and

noticing that your neighbor, Fasoul Hussein Abdulah -- you know, the friendly

guy who owns the 7-11 down the street -- is being hauled away by the Men In

Black! " Damn straight I approve of Mr. Bush! " you scream into the phone...).

 

The longer they keep believing their " ratings, " the larger our numbers will

grow. Sunday's Zogby Poll already had Bush at his lowest rating since before

9-11. Trust me, it only gets better from here on out, and you are welcome to

mark " Stupid White Men Day -- February, 19, 2002 " as the beginning of the end

for Kenny Boy's boy.

 

So, today, I begin my month-long book tour across the country. If you'll recall

from the film I made of my last outing, " The Big One, " this can be one wild

ride. It can also be no picnic. I am not going to make a movie this time.

Instead, I am going to keep a simple diary on the road -- and I am going to make

this diary open for you to view on my website.

 

I promise to be as honest as I can, and I won't be pulling any punches. If the

Motel 6 sucks in Syracuse, you'll hear about it. The diary -- " My Stupid Life:

Mike's Book Tour Diary " -- can be read or heard (depending on what kind of

equipment you have) by going to www.michaelmoore.com anytime after tonight.

Please mark it and check it out each day as I think you'll find it mildly

interesting and sincerely libelous.

 

Tonight, I will be going on " The O'Reilly Factor " on the Fox Nudnick Channel to

be interrupted -- I mean interviewed -- by its host, Bill O'Reilly. The fun

begins at 8pm ET/PT, and you have to be part of the cable elite to witness this

historic meeting of what hath become of Ireland's once great sons. At 10pm ET/PT

tonight, you can catch me with Aaron Brown on CNN.

 

Finally, I want you to know that I will be looking forward to only one thing

during this entire book tour -- Opening Day of the 2002 Major League Baseball

season! Why? Because that is the day I am asking George W. Bush to resign. And I

want the resignation to take place right in the middle of Enron Field in Houston

during the 7th-inning stretch of the Astros-Brewers game. I've asked if I can

throw out the first pitch at 4:05pm CT.

 

I mean, can there be a more perfect way to end the madness -- Bush, Lay, Mike,

Texas, America's Favorite Pastime, and the visiting team from a Blue State owned

by the Commissioner of Baseball (who will hand over his job to the

ex- " president " as the fans sing " Da Do En-ron-ron Da Do En-ron " )?

 

C'mon, George, are ya listening? Just step up to the microphone and go out like

Gehrig! Opening Day, April 2, 2002. Yoooou're Ouuuuuuuut!!!

 

Yours,

 

Michael Moore

Author, " Stupid White Men "

Disputed Gold Medal Winner, Ice Dancing

 

Write me at: StupidWhiteMen

 

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