Planes, paranoia and vegan curry

[Guest guest]

From The Sunday Times August 19, 2007 Planes, paranoia and vegan curry Our correspondent infiltrated the Heathrow protest camp and found a new take on the Battle of Britain spirit – until they found he was a journalist, and tolerance took a dive Christopher Hart The protesters assembled at the eco-camp just north of Heathrow are a mixed bunch. There are the inevitable dreadlocked Luddites, women in binbag skirts and sandals, and dogs on strings, but there are also school-teachers, retired civil servants and vets. Journalists, officially, “must be accompanied at all times by two members of the Media Team, who will carry a flag to make them identifiable”. Stuff that, I thought, as I ducked under the rope in the gathering dusk, rucksack on my back. Though the protesters declaim endlessly about the

media being craven employees of BP or Shell, you can be sure that if this lot ever came to power, it really would be the end of a free press. There’s much windy talk of “inclusivity” in the camp, but in place of blacks or gays, the protesters hate journalists and oilmen. We are their Other. After setting up my tent in a sodden corner of the field I went to the kitchen-under-canvas for my vegan curry, donating £3 – 10p for the curry plus a £2.90 tip. Standing in the queue I began to be tormented by the voices in my head. Specifically the voice of my inner Jeremy Clarkson. “Go on,” it said, “ask if they’ve got any dolphin burgers. Ask for a giant panda steak. Ask that woman over there if she knitted her jumper out of organic muesli. Go on.” The next morning I arose as sprightly as anyone can after a late-night vegan curry and two hours’ sleep in a quagmire beside runway two of the world’s busiest airport. First stop, the compost loos. Plastic

sheeting, sawdust, a bottomless pit yawning beneath your bottom. Afterwards I saw a sign for the Activist Trauma Support team in the Well-being tent, and very nearly went in.