move over soylent green

[Guest guest]

Yes Men Strike Oil

 

 

By Brandon Keim, June 14, 2007 | 11:21:07 P

 

 

Activist trickster collective the Yes Men used the Gas and Oil Exposition 2007

in Calgary, Alberta to stage their latest theatre of corporate absurdity, with

Exxon/Mobil and the Natural Petroleum Council playing the fools.

 

 

The prank, intended as a critique of the fossil fuel industry's influence on

energy policy, caused confusion and consternation on the final day of the

Exposition, one of the industry's largest gatherings.

 

 

The NPC, which is led by former Exxon-Mobil CEO Lee Raymond, advises the White

House on gas and oil issues. They were expected to announce the findings of a

Raymond-chaired study, commissioned by the Department of Energy, on joint

US-Canadian energy policy.

 

 

Instead, attendees of the day's $45.00 keynote luncheon were addressed by the

Yes Men's Andy Bichlbaum, who identified himself as an NPC representative named

Shepard Wolff.

 

 

After noting that current energy policies will likely lead to " huge global

calamities " and disrupt oil supplies, Wolff

told the audience " that in the worst case scenario, the oil industry could " keep

fuel flowing " by transforming the

billions of people who die into oil, " said a Yes Men press release.

 

 

Yes Man Mike Bonnano, posing as an Exxon representative named Florian Osenberg,

added that " With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of disaster, but that

means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will continue to flow for those of us

left. "

 

 

The impostors led growingly suspicious attendees in lighting Vivoleum candles

made, they said, from a former Exxon

janitor who died from cleaning a toxic spill. When shown a mock video of the

janitor professing his desire to be turned

in death into candles, a conference organizer pulled Bonanno and Bichlbaum from

the stage.

 

 

As security guards led Bonanno from the room, Bichlbaum told reporters that

" Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of humanity

would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all those bodies could be

turned into fuel for the rest of us. "

 

 

Noting that " 150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects

every year, " he added, " That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it

all go to waste? That would be cruel. "

 

 

The Exposition's organizers later issued a press release verifying that " the

" environmental and corporate ethics

activists " were not representatives of their respected organizations. According

to Calgary's CTV news, the

organizers " were approached by what they thought was a reputable company

offering speakers from the Petroleum

Council. " Only after the debacle did they contact the Council and learn of their

mistake.

 

 

Members of the Yes Men have previously posed as spokespeople for McDonald's, the

World Trade Organization, Dow Chemical and the US Department of Housing and

Urban Development.

 

When I see the price that you pay

I don't wanna grow up

I don't ever want to be that way

I don't wanna grow up

Seems that folks turn into things

that they never want