When one's a vegetarian and the rest are not, what's a family to do?

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East Bay? Jim Burton divides up some meatballs for his girls while Melissa Burton, a vegetarian, scoops some risotto for herself Sunday afternoon.EAST BAY - It was six years ago when Melissa and Jim Burton experienced a case of bovine intervention. "One day we were grilling steaks in our

backyard and we were looking at the cattle grazing back there," said Ms. Burton, whose Aquidneck Island property abuts farmland. "There was a moment." In that "moment," the Burtons looked at the cows, their steaks and then each other. "I saw the cows and said, 'Cruelty free for the new millennium,'" said Mr. Burton, a Portsmouth High School graduate. Going vegetarian for Ms. Burton wasn't that difficult, since she had already abstained from eating meat at various times because she found it distasteful. But for her husband, it was a more difficult transition. "He ate PB and J for every lunch and dinner," said Ms. Burton. What made it so hard for Mr. Burton was that he hates fish, which the couple agreed would still be allowed in their diet. (That would make them pescetarians; see related story.) Then there was his business trip to the Lone Star State, which put an end to his new diet for good. "It

lasted until I got to Texas," he said. "I went to a barbecue. You can't be a vegetarian in Texas." Added Ms. Burton with a laugh: "I have not had meat this century. I went cruelty free and Jimmy lasted about three months." When families have a mix of meat eaters, vegetarians or people with diet restrictions under one roof, what do they do at dinner time? Is there skirmishing over the stir-fried spinach tofu, or a brouhaha over the beef burgundy? "It really isn't a problem, even though I'm the only vegetarian in the house," said Rick Emanuel, who lives with his wife and two young girls in Barrington. When the family sits down at the dinner table, they all eat vegetarian and no one complains, he said. "It's become a daily way of life at this point. I consider my wife a default vegetarian," he said, adding that she'll eat meat only when they're at a restaurant or visiting friends. If friends come over for a barbecue, he'll

grill some burgers or steaks for them, then throw a veggie burger on for himself. His children, ages 4 and 2, have naturally gravitated toward a vegetarian diet, and love veggie "chicken" nuggets and grilled cheese, he said. Mr. Emanuel said his daughters' diet is a result of habit and not due to any demands on his part. "I actually wouldn't have a problem (with his children eating meat). I don't want to be the one who inflicts my views. I want them to have anything they want. But they really don't want anything to do with meat," he said. Ms. Burton also said she doesn't impose her vegetarian beliefs on her daughters — Paige, 7, and Jane, 5 — both of whom eat meat. "The kids know I don't eat meat, but I'm free will. They can decide for themselves," she said. Preparing dinner at her house isn't as simple as it is at the Emanuels,' however. "I make three meals a night," said Ms. Burton. "I make something for Jim, something for the kids

and something for myself." Ms. Burton, vice president of human resources at People's Credit Union, doesn't have a problem with doing most of the cooking. "Jim does more than his share," she said, noting that her husband had just finished a load of laundry. Dinner preparation is also less work than it sounds, she said, since she often starts with a basic menu and tweaks it to satisfy each member of the family. "My favorite meals to cook are fajitas, because I can put chicken in it for them," she gave as an example. Laurie Ferrea of Portsmouth doesn't eat red meat, although she does consume poultry and fish. "My kids don't eat a lot of the red meat, I guess because I don't," she said. She does some substituting, such as making turkey burgers or a pot roast using chicken instead of beef. After some initial resistance, her husband, John, has no problem with the menu. "He eats whatever I eat. Occasionally, I'll buy him a

steak," said Ms. Ferrea. Although people with dietary restrictions usually don't have a problem finding acceptance in their own family, things can get more complicated when dealing with a different culture. Last year Bristol resident Alexandra Cornwall spent seven months in the Middle East, studying and traveling in Egypt, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, the Palestinian Territories and Syria. This summer she returned to continue her studies of the Arabic language. While there she became particularly close with one West Bank family with eight children. During her time in college she had lost her taste for meat (see related story), but had just started eating it again. Still, her stomach wasn't ready for the large amounts of red meat being served by the family. "It's very offensive in that culture if you don't eat their food," said Ms. Cornwall, who hopes to attend medical school in the future. "It was very awkward because the concept of a

vegetarian over there is not very common. When you tell them you're a vegetarian and you don't eat meats, they look at you like you have 10 heads. There is a word for vegetarian in Arabic, but most of them don't know what it is." All vegan, all the time Chris Brown is a diehard vegan; she eats no meat, no eggs, no dairy products and avoids processed foods containing animal-derived ingredients. Still, carnivores love coming to her home for dinner. Her family is a mix of meat eaters and vegetarians of varying degrees. They all eat vegan at her house. "Usually people love to be invited to my house to eat because I'm a good cook. My children love to eat here. I don't think you need to be a vegetarian to enjoy vegetarian cooking," said Ms. Brown, who teaches whole foods cooking classes and does consultations as part of her business, The Natural Choice. The venture's origins can be traced back to 1992, when

her husband, Barry, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. A doctor gave him five years to live, but he's been in clinical remission for the past five years. The couple credits much of his health success to a change in diet. "Through our cancer support group, we heard that diet has a great influence on cancer," said Ms. Brown. "We started being pesceterians, which are vegetarians whose diet includes fish. Then after a while, we decided that we didn't need to eat fish, with all of its heavy metals and pollutants." In her classes, Ms. Brown points out the health benefits of vegetarian cooking, debunking common misconceptions about nutrition. For example, she said, many meat eaters assume that a vegetarian diet lacks protein. But many staples of a vegetarian diet — beans, legumes, mushrooms, soy, peas — are loaded with protein, she said. "And believe it or not, all plant foods have some protein in them. All vegetables do, too," she said. Vegetarians say it's all about making sure you have a balanced diet and not just eating frozen peas every night. "I'm pretty cognizant about getting protein," said Ms. Burton, who added that two years ago, her meat-eating husband was diagnosed as anemic. "But I'm as fit as a fiddle." Another misconception is that vegetarians have limited choices when preparing a menu. That may have been true years ago, but there's been a relative explosion in the vegetarian market in recent years, said Mr. Emanuel, who stopped eating meat 16 years ago. "It was a lot more challenging back then (to switch to a vegetarian diet). There were no veggie burgers. It was a lot of cheese pizza and spaghetti," he said, adding that more and more restaurants are offering vegetarian dishes. When cooking, a little creativity doesn't hurt, either. For Thanksgiving, Ms. Brown prepared cranberry orange pie, squash pie, a soybean walnut loaf with a sauce topping,

baked brussel sprouts, polenta with butternut squash and caramelized onions, and maple-glazed carrots. As an appetizer, she made what she calls "mushroom nuggets." The meal took her a few hours to prepare, but that's no longer than cooking a turkey and a bunch of side dishes, she said. 'Best-looking vegetarian' Although they're more than happy with their dietary choices, some vegetarians don't like it when they get pigeonholed as "granolas or tree huggers," said Ms. Burton, who is the only person at her workplace who doesn't eat meat. "Sometimes, you feel really conspicuous. It's a little uncomfortable, like I'm drawing undue attention to myself and I really don't like it," she said. Sometimes, people even make assumptions about a vegetarian's physical appearance, she said. She recalled the time she requested a vegetarian dish during a work-related cruise in San Diego. A man who had had "more than a

few drinks" overheard her and boomed over the table, "'You're the best-looking vegetarian I've ever seen,'" said Ms. Burton. "I mean, is that supposed to be a compliment? I guess I'm not supposed to shave my legs." Going to college, going vegetarian Rick Emanuel of Barrington says his epiphany came during his senior year of college 16 years ago. "We were watching television and flipping through the TV and we came across one of those nature shows," he said. "The gazelle was about to be taken down by a lion and I quickly flipped the channel. Someone next to me said, 'The way you feel about animals, I'm surprised you're not a vegetarian.' " So, he tried it. Although it was a difficult transition, he's been a vegetarian ever since. Although most teenagers enter college as carnivores, they don't always return that way, leaving parents scrambling to find food substitutions for children no longer

interested in the Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas roast or Hanukkah brisket. According to a 1999 study by the National Restaurant Association, up to 20 percent of college students consider themselves vegetarian. In a nationwide survey conducted by Aramark last year, over 25 percent of the more than 100,000 college students polled said finding vegan meals on campus was important to them. That wouldn't surprise Chris Brown of Warren, who teaches whole food cooking. She said mothers are always coming to her classes looking for suggestions on feeding children who are now vegetarians or vegans. "I've also had a lot of young people in my classes," she said. Alexandra Cornwall of Bristol, a recent graduate of the University of Rochester, said she had always eaten meat growing up. "But when I went to college, I stopped eating red meat," she said. "Maybe it was the way it was presented. Something just clicked and every time I looked at it, it

just turned my stomach." Ms. Alexandra still ate "white meat" (turkey and chicken) as well as fish. She recently started eating red meat again. Laurie Ferrea of Portsmouth also stopped eating red meat in college two decades ago. Ironically, it wasn't the fault of the cafeteria cooks. "I was a freshman at URI and I was leaving the dining hall and going to McDonald's or Burger King. One day, it just started grossing me out," said Ms. Ferrea, who does eat chicken and fish. Now she has three children who don't eat much red meat. Her son, Collin, finds it especially distasteful — with one exception. "Of course, he lives McDonald's," said Ms. Ferrea. Although changing one's diet is not always easy for young people, the transition can be even more difficult for their parents. "My parents are off-the-boat Germans. I grew up on schnitzel and brats," said Mr. Emanuel, describing the day he returned home

from college to deliver the news. "I came home and said I wanted to be a vegetarian. I might have well have said, 'I want to be an astronaut and go to Mars.' " Sixteen years later, he thinks his parents have finally accepted the fact that he's a vegetarian. "I think now it's finally dawned on them." Vegetarians come in all kinds There are several different kinds of vegetarians, based on what kinds of foods they choose to eat. Here's a rough breakdown of the terminology: * Lacto vegetarians eat no meat whatsoever; their diet is made up of fruit and vegetables and dairy products (although only vegetarian cheese). They do not eat eggs. * Lacto-ovo vegetarians eat the same as lacto vegetarians, except they include eggs in their diet. * Pescetarians are similar to vegetarians, but they also consume fish. Some avoid farm-raised fish. * Vegans eat no meat, no eggs, no dairy products and avoid processed foods containing animal-derived ingredients such as gelatin (some also refuse to eat honey). Some vegans stick to a raw food diet, which consists of unprocessed vegan foods that are not heated above 115°F. They believe that foods lose a significant amount of their nutrients if they are cooked above this temperature. * Fruitarians eat only fruits, nuts and seeds. However, they never eat the roots of plants such as carrots. * Semi-vegetarians (or "flexitarians) are people who eat a mostly vegetarian diet, but do consume meat on occasion. Die-hard vegetarians often refer to them as "pseudo-vegetarians." Some vegetarians also adhere to a macrobiotic diet, consisting of unprocessed vegan foods and the occasional consumption of fish. The diet, often revered for its healing qualities, has a strong emphasis on Asian vegetables.

By Jim McGaw Peter H

 

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[Guest guest]

other coast peter

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peter VV Dec 7, 2006 1:28 PM Re: When one's a vegetarian and the rest are not, what's a family to do?

East Bay?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jim Burton divides up some meatballs for his girls while Melissa Burton, a vegetarian, scoops some risotto for herself Sunday afternoon.EAST BAY - It was six years ago when Melissa and Jim Burton experienced a case of bovine intervention. "One day we were grilling steaks in our backyard and we were looking at the cattle grazing back there," said Ms. Burton, whose Aquidneck Island property abuts farmland. "There was a moment."

In that "moment," the Burtons looked at the cows, their steaks and then each other.

"I saw the cows and said, 'Cruelty free for the new millennium,'" said Mr. Burton, a Portsmouth High School graduate.

Going vegetarian for Ms. Burton wasn't that difficult, since she had already abstained from eating meat at various times because she found it distasteful. But for her husband, it was a more difficult transition.

"He ate PB and J for every lunch and dinner," said Ms. Burton.

What made it so hard for Mr. Burton was that he hates fish, which the couple agreed would still be allowed in their diet. (That would make them pescetarians; see related story.)

Then there was his business trip to the Lone Star State, which put an end to his new diet for good. "It lasted until I got to Texas," he said. "I went to a barbecue. You can't be a vegetarian in Texas."

Added Ms. Burton with a laugh: "I have not had meat this century. I went cruelty free and Jimmy lasted about three months."

When families have a mix of meat eaters, vegetarians or people with diet restrictions under one roof, what do they do at dinner time? Is there skirmishing over the stir-fried spinach tofu, or a brouhaha over the beef burgundy?

"It really isn't a problem, even though I'm the only vegetarian in the house," said Rick Emanuel, who lives with his wife and two young girls in Barrington.

When the family sits down at the dinner table, they all eat vegetarian and no one complains, he said. "It's become a daily way of life at this point. I consider my wife a default vegetarian," he said, adding that she'll eat meat only when they're at a restaurant or visiting friends. If friends come over for a barbecue, he'll grill some burgers or steaks for them, then throw a veggie burger on for himself.

His children, ages 4 and 2, have naturally gravitated toward a vegetarian diet, and love veggie "chicken" nuggets and grilled cheese, he said. Mr. Emanuel said his daughters' diet is a result of habit and not due to any demands on his part. "I actually wouldn't have a problem (with his children eating meat). I don't want to be the one who inflicts my views. I want them to have anything they want. But they really don't want anything to do with meat," he said.

Ms. Burton also said she doesn't impose her vegetarian beliefs on her daughters Paige, 7, and Jane, 5 both of whom eat meat. "The kids know I don't eat meat, but I'm free will. They can decide for themselves," she said.

Preparing dinner at her house isn't as simple as it is at the Emanuels,' however. "I make three meals a night," said Ms. Burton. "I make something for Jim, something for the kids and something for myself."

Ms. Burton, vice president of human resources at People's Credit Union, doesn't have a problem with doing most of the cooking. "Jim does more than his share," she said, noting that her husband had just finished a load of laundry.

Dinner preparation is also less work than it sounds, she said, since she often starts with a basic menu and tweaks it to satisfy each member of the family. "My favorite meals to cook are fajitas, because I can put chicken in it for them," she gave as an example.

Laurie Ferrea of Portsmouth doesn't eat red meat, although she does consume poultry and fish. "My kids don't eat a lot of the red meat, I guess because I don't," she said.

She does some substituting, such as making turkey burgers or a pot roast using chicken instead of beef. After some initial resistance, her husband, John, has no problem with the menu. "He eats whatever I eat. Occasionally, I'll buy him a steak," said Ms. Ferrea.

Although people with dietary restrictions usually don't have a problem finding acceptance in their own family, things can get more complicated when dealing with a different culture. Last year Bristol resident Alexandra Cornwall spent seven months in the Middle East, studying and traveling in Egypt, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, the Palestinian Territories and Syria. This summer she returned to continue her studies of the Arabic language.

While there she became particularly close with one West Bank family with eight children. During her time in college she had lost her taste for meat (see related story), but had just started eating it again. Still, her stomach wasn't ready for the large amounts of red meat being served by the family.

"It's very offensive in that culture if you don't eat their food," said Ms. Cornwall, who hopes to attend medical school in the future. "It was very awkward because the concept of a vegetarian over there is not very common. When you tell them you're a vegetarian and you don't eat meats, they look at you like you have 10 heads. There is a word for vegetarian in Arabic, but most of them don't know what it is."

All vegan, all the time

Chris Brown is a diehard vegan; she eats no meat, no eggs, no dairy products and avoids processed foods containing animal-derived ingredients.

Still, carnivores love coming to her home for dinner. Her family is a mix of meat eaters and vegetarians of varying degrees. They all eat vegan at her house.

"Usually people love to be invited to my house to eat because I'm a good cook. My children love to eat here. I don't think you need to be a vegetarian to enjoy vegetarian cooking," said Ms. Brown, who teaches whole foods cooking classes and does consultations as part of her business, The Natural Choice.

The venture's origins can be traced back to 1992, when her husband, Barry, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. A doctor gave him five years to live, but he's been in clinical remission for the past five years. The couple credits much of his health success to a change in diet.

"Through our cancer support group, we heard that diet has a great influence on cancer," said Ms. Brown. "We started being pesceterians, which are vegetarians whose diet includes fish. Then after a while, we decided that we didn't need to eat fish, with all of its heavy metals and pollutants."

In her classes, Ms. Brown points out the health benefits of vegetarian cooking, debunking common misconceptions about nutrition. For example, she said, many meat eaters assume that a vegetarian diet lacks protein. But many staples of a vegetarian diet beans, legumes, mushrooms, soy, peas are loaded with protein, she said. "And believe it or not, all plant foods have some protein in them. All vegetables do, too," she said.

Vegetarians say it's all about making sure you have a balanced diet and not just eating frozen peas every night. "I'm pretty cognizant about getting protein," said Ms. Burton, who added that two years ago, her meat-eating husband was diagnosed as anemic. "But I'm as fit as a fiddle."

Another misconception is that vegetarians have limited choices when preparing a menu. That may have been true years ago, but there's been a relative explosion in the vegetarian market in recent years, said Mr. Emanuel, who stopped eating meat 16 years ago.

"It was a lot more challenging back then (to switch to a vegetarian diet). There were no veggie burgers. It was a lot of cheese pizza and spaghetti," he said, adding that more and more restaurants are offering vegetarian dishes.

When cooking, a little creativity doesn't hurt, either. For Thanksgiving, Ms. Brown prepared cranberry orange pie, squash pie, a soybean walnut loaf with a sauce topping, baked brussel sprouts, polenta with butternut squash and caramelized onions, and maple-glazed carrots. As an appetizer, she made what she calls "mushroom nuggets." The meal took her a few hours to prepare, but that's no longer than cooking a turkey and a bunch of side dishes, she said.

'Best-looking vegetarian'

Although they're more than happy with their dietary choices, some vegetarians don't like it when they get pigeonholed as "granolas or tree huggers," said Ms. Burton, who is the only person at her workplace who doesn't eat meat.

"Sometimes, you feel really conspicuous. It's a little uncomfortable, like I'm drawing undue attention to myself and I really don't like it," she said.

Sometimes, people even make assumptions about a vegetarian's physical appearance, she said.

She recalled the time she requested a vegetarian dish during a work-related cruise in San Diego. A man who had had "more than a few drinks" overheard her and boomed over the table, "'You're the best-looking vegetarian I've ever seen,'" said Ms. Burton.

"I mean, is that supposed to be a compliment? I guess I'm not supposed to shave my legs."

Going to college, going vegetarian

Rick Emanuel of Barrington says his epiphany came during his senior year of college 16 years ago.

"We were watching television and flipping through the TV and we came across one of those nature shows," he said. "The gazelle was about to be taken down by a lion and I quickly flipped the channel. Someone next to me said, 'The way you feel about animals, I'm surprised you're not a vegetarian.' "

So, he tried it. Although it was a difficult transition, he's been a vegetarian ever since.

Although most teenagers enter college as carnivores, they don't always return that way, leaving parents scrambling to find food substitutions for children no longer interested in the Thanksgiving turkey, Christmas roast or Hanukkah brisket.

According to a 1999 study by the National Restaurant Association, up to 20 percent of college students consider themselves vegetarian. In a nationwide survey conducted by Aramark last year, over 25 percent of the more than 100,000 college students polled said finding vegan meals on campus was important to them.

That wouldn't surprise Chris Brown of Warren, who teaches whole food cooking. She said mothers are always coming to her classes looking for suggestions on feeding children who are now vegetarians or vegans. "I've also had a lot of young people in my classes," she said.

Alexandra Cornwall of Bristol, a recent graduate of the University of Rochester, said she had always eaten meat growing up. "But when I went to college, I stopped eating red meat," she said. "Maybe it was the way it was presented. Something just clicked and every time I looked at it, it just turned my stomach."

Ms. Alexandra still ate "white meat" (turkey and chicken) as well as fish. She recently started eating red meat again.

Laurie Ferrea of Portsmouth also stopped eating red meat in college two decades ago. Ironically, it wasn't the fault of the cafeteria cooks.

"I was a freshman at URI and I was leaving the dining hall and going to McDonald's or Burger King. One day, it just started grossing me out," said Ms. Ferrea, who does eat chicken and fish.

Now she has three children who don't eat much red meat. Her son, Collin, finds it especially distasteful with one exception. "Of course, he lives McDonald's," said Ms. Ferrea.

Although changing one's diet is not always easy for young people, the transition can be even more difficult for their parents.

"My parents are off-the-boat Germans. I grew up on schnitzel and brats," said Mr. Emanuel, describing the day he returned home from college to deliver the news. "I came home and said I wanted to be a vegetarian. I might have well have said, 'I want to be an astronaut and go to Mars.' "

Sixteen years later, he thinks his parents have finally accepted the fact that he's a vegetarian. "I think now it's finally dawned on them."

Vegetarians come in all kinds

There are several different kinds of vegetarians, based on what kinds of foods they choose to eat. Here's a rough breakdown of the terminology:

* Lacto vegetarians eat no meat whatsoever; their diet is made up of fruit and vegetables and dairy products (although only vegetarian cheese). They do not eat eggs.

* Lacto-ovo vegetarians eat the same as lacto vegetarians, except they include eggs in their diet.

* Pescetarians are similar to vegetarians, but they also consume fish. Some avoid farm-raised fish.

* Vegans eat no meat, no eggs, no dairy products and avoid processed foods containing animal-derived ingredients such as gelatin (some also refuse to eat honey). Some vegans stick to a raw food diet, which consists of unprocessed vegan foods that are not heated above 115°F. They believe that foods lose a significant amount of their nutrients if they are cooked above this temperature.

* Fruitarians eat only fruits, nuts and seeds. However, they never eat the roots of plants such as carrots.

* Semi-vegetarians (or "flexitarians) are people who eat a mostly vegetarian diet, but do consume meat on occasion. Die-hard vegetarians often refer to them as "pseudo-vegetarians."

Some vegetarians also adhere to a macrobiotic diet, consisting of unprocessed vegan foods and the occasional consumption of fish. The diet, often revered for its healing qualities, has a strong emphasis on Asian vegetables.

By Jim McGaw

Peter H

 

 

 

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