teehee

[Guest guest]

on the unseasonable cold hitting the entire west coast

 

from canadia

 

 

Weather Warnings from Victoria

 

 

Chilled Victoria commuters faced their second day

 

 

of winter hell today, as an additional centimeter of the peculiar

 

 

white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing

 

 

millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists

 

 

suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and

 

 

experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures

 

 

dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Victorians were

 

 

warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

 

 

 

 

 

Victoria police recommended that people stay inside except for

 

 

Emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them

 

 

through Victoria'sancouver's most terrible storm to date.

 

 

 

 

 

The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of

 

 

fur lined sandals and snow tires.

 

 

 

 

 

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up (so I did),

 

 

and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have

 

 

four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

 

 

 

 

 

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat

 

 

of frozen breast implants. Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health

 

 

Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly

 

 

safe to 25 below. " The government has to do something, " snarled an

 

 

angry Trevor Warburton. " I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom

 

 

condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto. "

 

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always

glorify the hunter