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http://www.grist.org/news/maindish/2006/04/20/earthday/index.html?source=daily

 

 

It's All in the List

Our Earth Day nod to the year's goodies, oddities, and inanities

 

 

20 Apr 2006

With Earth Day fast approaching, we're pleased to bring you the First Ever List

of Grist Superlatives. It's our modest take on the year past, and a few

predictions for things to come. Miffed about what we missed? You're welcome to

make additions in Gristmill.

 

 

--

 

 

 

Soaking up the Sundance.

Photo: Eric Neitzel/ WireImage.com.Most improbable movie star: Al Gore

 

Scariest preview of coming attractions: Katrina

 

Species most likely to go extinct within the year: climate skeptic

 

Mega-corporation we love to hate ... or is it hate to love? (tie): General

Electric; " Beyond " Petroleum

 

Most hackneyed phrase: " Green is the new black "

 

Political fight most reminiscent of Groundhog Day: Arctic National Wildlife

Refuge

 

Biggest crybaby: Ted Stevens

 

Place we'd most like to see Grist's name: Chris Martin's left hand

 

 

And the angels sing.

Photo: iStockphoto.Press announcement most likely to be accompanied by music of

angelic choir: Evangelical Climate Initiative

 

Greenest Kennedy of 2006: Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

Most hyped weed: switchgrass

 

Second-most hyped weed: hemp

 

Most likely to attempt to smoke own product: Willie Nelson

 

Most likely to attempt to blow smoke up your ass: Richard Pombo

 

Most popular environmental oxymoron: " clean coal "

 

Second most popular: " safe, clean nuclear power "

 

 

Summer time.

Photo: Emily Gertz.Cutest tiny new car: Obvio!

 

Cutest tiny new car likely to be embraced by the American public: Yeah, right

 

Hottest eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes

 

OK, only eco-model: Summer Rayne Oakes

 

Ex-big-oil executive most likely to show up with a bikini-clad girl on a chain

and a grudge against Han Solo: Lee Raymond

 

Best new book on climate change: Field Notes From a Catastrophe

 

Other best new book on climate change: The Weather Makers

 

 

We are the walrus.

Photo: NOAA Photo Libray.Global-warming critter crisis most likely to make us

sob (tie): starving polar bear; drowning baby walrus

 

Best green website (besides ours, of course): Treechanging ... uh, we mean

Worldhugger

 

Global-warming activist who pops up more often than Zelig: Laurie David

 

Stinkiest eco-innovation: San Francisco's poop power

 

Kinkiest eco-innovation: phthalate-free sex toys

 

Sneakiest way for big ag to make a buck: corn-based ethanol

 

Angstiest question for green community: Are we dead?

 

Second-angstiest: Is it OK to say good things about Wal-Mart?

 

 

Floatie happens.

Photo: POOP.Least photogenic eco-celeb: Mr. Floatie

 

Smartest fine-we'll-do-it-ourselves political move (tie): U.S. Mayors Climate

Protection Agreement; Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative

 

Most Scientology-esque acceptance of sci-fi writer as source of scientific

truth: George W. Bush's tête-á-tête with Michael Crichton

 

Best and worst marketing idea: Make-your-own Chevy Tahoe commercial

 

Head of state whose big talk on climate is most likely to be muffled by Bush's

bum affixed to his lips: Tony Blair

 

Most overlooked source of energy: efficiency

 

Web petition most likely to actually amount to something: stopglobalwarming.org

 

Hottest self-defeating anti-Kyoto argument: It costs too much, and doesn't do

enough

 

Hottest fake Kyoto: Asia-Pacific Partnership on Clean Development and Climate

 

Least significant environmental decision you will ever make, so for the love of

god stop worrying about it: paper vs. plastic

 

 

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

Photo: iStockphoto.State most likely to secede: California

 

Hottest seller of 2010: hybrid minivan

 

Green celeb we kind of miss seeing around: Ed Begley Jr.

 

Story we feel most guilty for being bored by: ice, somewhere, melting

 

Best eco-themed folk music album: ...

 

Least impressive way to demonstrate your eco-consciousness: buying stuff

 

Most likely to stock up on bottled water and beef jerky if oil surges past $80 a

barrel: James Howard Kunstler

 

Term most likely to wear out the scare-quote key on our keyboards:

" eco-terrorism "

 

Daily Grist headline we still chuckle about: Cattle Star Redactica

 

Law least able to protect itself: Endangered Species Act

 

 

Foaming at the mouth.

Photo: iStockphoto.Most depressing acquisition of 2006: Colgate's purchase of

Tom's of Maine

 

Worst way to deal with climate change: nuclear energy

 

Easiest way to create appearance of eco-benignity: green tags

 

Democratic senator most likely to stab enviros in the back: Daniel Inouye

 

Country most likely to be oil-free first: Sweden

 

Most likely to be last: don't make us say it

 

Most over-used tool in environmentalist toolbox: fear

 

Tool still in bag with price tag on it: hope

 

Best car of 2006: your bike

 

Grist's favorite source of angry letters to the editor: vegans

 

Mustachiest geo-green: Thomas Friedman

 

Second mustachiest: Roscoe Bartlett

 

Best place to look for ways to reduce ecological impact: mirror

 

 

Add your own superlatives to the list in Gristmill.

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