What the hell is Bush doing with his time?

December 9, 2005

President Bush confronts the terriers (J. Scott Applewhite/AP) Bush makes peace in White House war on terriersBy Philippe Naughton In the week that Harold Pinter revealed the creative process behind his Nobel Prize-winning dramas, the Bush White House has gone and gotten creative too - and its Christmas movie featuring the two Bush family dogs already appears destined for cult status. The British playwright used a video message released ahead of tomorrow's Nobel awards ceremony to explain that he likes to start with three characters, A, B and C. Then he

takes a line, often obscure even to himself, and lets the story start from there. "It's a strange moment, the moment of creating characters who up to that moment have had no existence," Pinter said. But the White House's rival video, released by First Lady Laura Bush at a Washington children's hospital, pays homage more to Bing Crosby than to Harold Pinter. Called A Very Beazley Christmas, it takes two Scottish terriers and a big-name supporting cast to spin out a gripping tale of sibling rivalry. Without giving too much away (the full ten-minute movie is playing now on the White House website), Barney is the faithful Bush family pet who finds himself upstaged by his own younger sister, the indescribably cute Miss Beazley. The plot, it has to be said, is a little thin - a criticism that has occasionally been made of Pinter himself by those who prefer a bit more action in their drama. But nor are there any of those awkward

Pinteresque pauses: a relentlessly upbeat soundtrack fills every spare moment as the presidential pups pad around the corridors and staterooms of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Some of the most powerful men in the Adminstration are brought on for cameo roles. Andrew Card, the White House Chief of Staff, starts the ball rolling with a positively Flintstonian performance exhorting Barney to sit down and watch the news. But that opening scene is where the heartache begins. As poor Barney soon finds out, all anyone is talking about this Christmas season - including the real-life news hosts George Stephanopoulos and Nancy O'Dell - is little Miss Beazley, who was bought by President Bush as a gift for his wife in January. In fact, the title page is the last mention made of the word Christmas, which has become a dirty word among officials in secular America. As Mrs Bush says: "President Bush and I wish everyone very happy holidays." Other

cameos are delivered by Lynne Cheney, the Vice-President's wife - "Ooh, Barney, have you seen the latest presidential pet poll numbers? Not good! The numbers are way down. But don't worry about it; remember poll numbers are just a snapshot in time" - and Carlos Guttierez, the Commerce Secretary, who proudly announces that unemployment is down: "We're creating a lot of jobs - and you're doing a great job, Miss Beazley." But in the end it is Mr Bush who breaks the dramatic tension in a climactic scene in the Oval Office with the two pooches sitting in front of him. After rebuking Miss Beazley for being a "media hound", he tells them: "You have to remember the true meaning of the holiday season." Critics of the Bush Administration might quibble that the movie makes no mention of the major events that have marked the American nation over the past year: Hurricane Katrina's devastation of New Orleans, for example, or the continuing bloodshed in Iraq. But if it's Iraq you're interested in, you'd be better off sticking to Pinter.Peter H

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