Dear Monsanto:

[Guest guest]

http://www.etcgroup.org/action4.asp

 

Mr. Hugh Grant, Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer

Monsanto Company

c/o Kathleen Klepfer, Chief of Staff for Hugh Grant

800 North Lindbergh Boulevard

St. Louis, MO 63167

Phone: (314) 694-1000

Kathleen Klepfer's email: kathleen.lee.klepfer

 

 

Sir,

 

Warning: Your Genetically-modified Canola May Be Trespassing on My

Property!

 

I am writing this letter to give you formal notice that I have

reason to suspect that your genetically-modified canola has

trespassed and may — even as I write — be squatting illegally on my

property. I believe that this is so for one or more of the following

reasons:

 

º My property is within 26 kilometers of a field that, last year,

was within 26 km of another property that, the previous year, was

within 26 km of a property where your seed was grown (... and so on

back to 1996, the first year you introduced GM canola — for a

distance of at least 208 km);

º I have seen GM canola seed bags riding on a truck or train within

26 km (and so on up to about 208 km) of my property - and it was

very windy;

º My dog and I have gone for a walk within 26 km (and so on) of a GM

canola field sometime in the past 8 years and I forgot to clean out

my pant cuffs and sterilize the dog after coming home;

º Last spring, the dog got out and shortly after, I noticed some

sickly-looking seeds in his do-do;

º When we went to Disney World last summer, the neighbour's kid

forgot to cut our grass and there were some funny–looking plants

going to seed up against the fence last fall;

º There's a weird thing growing in my window box crowding out the

petunias;

º After harvesting the backyard garden last fall, I hosed down the

plot with Roundup but the weeds seem to like it;

 

Someone from Monsanto needs to get their butt out here pronto to see

whether or not you folks are trespassing. But, don't think for one

minute that you can wander onto my property without my permission.

Here's what you have to do:

 

1. Contact me now to set a date and time convenient for me;

2. Before entering my property with your "adventitious presence,"

you will have to sign a contract agreeing not to disclose whether or

not the company has contaminated my property (I have to think about

property values) and agreeing that any legal disputes arising from

the contamination must be settled in a court of my choosing and

under conditions I'll tell you about later (you know how these

contracts work, right?);

3. I want to see a photo ID and a letter verifying that your person

works for the company and defining the limits of her/his

responsibilities;

4. You will pay for an independent scientist (if one still exists)

and a security guard of my choosing to accompany us — I know how you

people operate;

5. Be prepared for a full body search ... there's enough

contamination already!

6. Bring a cheque (certified - I've been reading about your

problems!) to cover the costs of decontamination and to pay rent and

restitution.

 

Consider yourself warned.

 

Yours sincerely,