on anger and criticism

[Guest guest]

I am pretty much a lurker here but all this anger has brought me out

of the woodwork. Something Elchanon posted many moons ago has stuck

with me although I am probably not quoting verbatim.

Praise publicly, criticize privately.

 

I have to say that the angry messages recently on this board really

affect my mood. It is no one person doing this. but many who

sometimes speak their truth a little more harshly than necessary.

There is almost always a way to word what you want to say in a way

that the words are not hurtful. Let us all try to find this way.

 

Bay

 

P.S. Perhaps we can start another group: " angry raw vegans " or " raw

and on a rampage " for those who prefer speaking harshly.

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

> Praise publicly, criticize privately.

>

> I have to say that the angry messages recently on this board really

> affect my mood. It is no one person doing this. but many who

> sometimes speak their truth a little more harshly than necessary.

> There is almost always a way to word what you want to say in a way

> that the words are not hurtful. Let us all try to find this way.

 

Bay,

 

I suspect when people feel compelled to condescend in public, it

comes from a sense of insecurity. Why else would they put so much

energy in to trying to convince others that someone else has a

problem? I find condescension to be a very poor form of

communication. When there are differences of opinion, simply share

your perceptions/opinions of the subject and allow others to shape

their opinions. Pressuring or trying to force views on others does

not (IMO) allow others to shape their own opinions; it attempts to

coerce them to come up with the same conclusion. When I hear/read

condescension/strongly-worded posts (or conversation, when in person)

I wonder: " who are you trying to convince... Me? or You? " When a

public forum is chosen for such criticism, it confirms (to me, at

least) that the intent is to make the person(s) look bad. If the

opposing argument is valid, then there is no need to try to convince

the list members of the problems with others. Just stick to the topic

and share valuable information about it (the topic NOT being " bad "

list members, etc.).

 

Over the years, on this list (and the RawImmortal list before it)

there have been occasions that email threads get into the angry/

condescending category and causes tension on the list. It slows down

the learning process and the flow of information. Where do you want

to focus your energies? On sharing and receiving raw food/nutrition

information or anger and frustration? If you do not agree with

another's post, share your views. Educate us with your insights. We

all have the ability to learn from each other. I don't learn anything

from people's anger, other than to avoid them. I'm sure, beneath the

emotions, there is a lot of information and insight. So PLEASE... cut

out the drama and share your informative and uplifting insights! I

believe there is always an ideal thing to say to resolve an issue or

argument. The trick is (it's an art actually) to figure out (or

intuit) what that is!

 

Oh yeah... and TRIM YOUR POSTS! (If you do not know what this means

or whether or not you are guilty of NOT trimming your post, contact

the moderator(s) (if they are active.))

 

Jeff

 

> P.S. Perhaps we can start another group: " angry raw vegans " or " raw

> and on a rampage " for those who prefer speaking harshly.

 

How about " Condescenders Anonymous " or " Unhappy, Grumpy People Being

Defensive "

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

> P.S. Perhaps we can start another group: " angry raw vegans " or " raw

> and on a rampage " for those who prefer speaking harshly.

 

I think if more of the lurkers posted we would have a more balanced

group. It's interesting to me when people who do not opt to participate

only voice up to say they prefer a more entertaining or pleasant read.

We all do, but I am sure I am not the only one to receive private posts

from lurkers indicating that they wish things were more balanced or

they " agreed " or " disagreed " with such and such, too. That's all well

and good, and doesn't upset me, but if you wish for the group to lean

more in another direction, and this goes for everybody, we should do

our part to influence it that way, and not just passively watch and

then only complain when it goes to far in a way we are displeased with.

Just my thoughts. Erica