Peaceful Communication [Should] (WAS: Rights vs. Privileges and Immunities )

[Guest guest]

Erica, I'll just respond to one comment from your message, below. You write:

___

There are things that people should be angry about

___

 

I wish to encourage you to explore something called " Nonviolent

Communication " (NVC), www.cnvc.org. Words like " should " , " ought " , and the

like imply demands/expectations. Your brief statement, quoted above,

suggests that there is something wrong with a person who does not respond in

this way.

 

Now consider an alternative:

 

When I observe many things happening in America today, I feel anger, because

I need to know that I and those who come after me remain safe and free.

 

Or this, taking a step forward in one's own internal processing:

 

When I observe XXX happening in America today, I feel a deep sense of

sadness and fear. I wonder what my life and the lives of those close to me

will be like during the years ahead.

 

I could continue. The point is that in these examples, " I " am expressing on

my own behalf only, without stating or implying anything about what others

might be doing, should do, or the like.

 

Make sense?

 

Suggestion/Request: Whenever you hear yourself say (or are about to say)

" should " , pause and reflect instead of speaking/writing. Ask yourself what

YOU really wish to express for and about yourself. I know that I would feel

a much more clear sense of connection with you if you were to do this at

times.

 

And to respond directly to your question, much about the way in which you

express yourself, not only in that post but continually, conveys anger to

me. And of course, I recognize that anger is only secondary; underneath the

anger, I imagine you must have many, many feelings of hurt/pain,

powerlessness, disconnection, disappointment, and so forth that you have

never found a constructive way to express and resolve. I do not mean this

disparagingly at all. Rather, I would say that almost everyone is in the

same boat, more or less. My intention here is simply to pen the door to

discussing it, that's all.

 

Best,

Elchanan

 

_____

 

rawfood [rawfood ] On Behalf Of

Erica

Friday, October 19, 2007 11:48 AM

rawfood

[Raw Food] Re: Rights vs. " Privileges and Immunities " (WAS: North

American Union: New Money [NAU])

 

 

>>> I only wish for you that you will come to separate your thinking. which

is gaining clarity, from your anger, which obscures what lies before you..

 

Elchanan, that's nice, but what about the below post ndicates that I am

really " angry " . There are things that people should be angry about; if they

are not angry, they are not paying attention. But the below post of mine is

not super-angry at all. It's a good observation, imo. Erica

 

But just being " born " here, even if you are in the country for a day and

your parents are here illegally, hardly should make anyone a citizen, worthy

of being catered to by our government with money that we don't have for

Americans.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Your brief statement, quoted above,

> suggests that there is something wrong with a person who does not

respond in

> this way.

While I don't judge people for these things, I absolutely feel this

way. I feel there is something wrong with slavery, segregation,

animal abuse, child abuse, hospitals killing people, and so much

more. I do. I love that I feel this way. MLK Jr writes about his

anger in his autobiography. It doesn't mean he acted in anger or was

an angry person, it simply meant he had anger towards injustice. I

honestly have studied this a bit - and have studied " should

statements " , etc, within various circles, etc. One of my favorites is

how Tony Robbins puts it --- " Most people are 'shoulding' all over

each other! " LOL!! I honestly do find it a bit of a drag to have my

comments and posts dissected or analyzed in such a way --- I hear a

lot of people express upset about different aspects of the govt,

standard health care, and more. I just take it for what it is and am

glad they are conscious enough to notice and be aware of these things-

? Maybe I'm wrong for feeling that way, I dunno.

 

 

> And to respond directly to your question, much about the way in

which you

> express yourself, not only in that post but continually, conveys

anger to

> me. My intention here is simply to pen the door to

> discussing it, that's all.

>

> Best,

> Elchanan

 

 

Elchanan - I hope you are open to discussing the issues that

continually arise concerning your posts - pertaining to the

condescending undertones that many have noticed and commented upon. I

do think we have a very educated and active group here, and I for one

appreciate all the different points of view. I do think that chronic

condescension towards others can be indicative of either anger or

insecurity or both, and so maybe we can have a healthy discussion

about that as well, then? Erica