Feeling Our Feelings vs. Seeking Stimulation and Distractions [Subconscious] (WAS: From rage toward compassion and trust)

[Guest guest]

Caron

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 4:47 AM

rawfood

Re: [Raw Food] From rage toward compassion and trust

 

Hi Caron, I'll respond selectively to certain of your observations ... I

really appreciate this entire post from you, the way you share about

yourself, the degree to which you reflect deeply upon your own experience.

 

You write:

___

I need to be able to sit down and focus

___

From my perspective, this is a most keen expression of self-awareness. I

would add " focus AND REST " . Shift in this arena, and you'll shift every part

of your life.

 

You write:

___

I've been camping at that corner for a while - trouble is, I was never

taught as a child how to properly express emotions, just that some are good,

and should be felt all the time, while some are bad and should never be felt

or you can go to your room! The only answers I've been able to find as an

adult have been along the lines of " do something else so you're distracted

from your *insert " negative " emotion here* " . No one seems to know how to

feel, and remain sane and in one piece.

___

You may recall my saying that I've chosen to let go of almost everything I

ever learned, that it was all wrong. From my perspective, this way of

thinking applies here. It is biologically impossible, as far as I am aware,

for us humans to express SOME feelings only. We either open to them all, or

we block them all.

 

Yes, I agree, nowadays most people seek stimulation and/or distraction in

lieu of creating genuine solutions to almost every personal problem

imaginable. Hence, all the discussions here about eating stimulants (a.k.a.

" recipes " , " spices " , " herbs " , etc.). For example, people claim to use

recipes to relieve boredom, to socialize more effectively, to " get certain

things down " (as bitter greens), and so forth. A thoughtful person can

easily discern that all these explanations are not reasons at all, but

rather alternate expressions of a desire to consume stimulants ... people

are habituated to seeking stimulation and/or distraction in the presence of

almost every challenging feeling or circumstance.

 

As I've written before, each of us does his/her best in every present

moment. So for those seeking stimulation, that is their best at this point

in time, and we may wish them continued success and improvement in the

future.

 

When we SYSTEMATICALLY seek stimulation / distraction, we create for

ourselves systematic, or chronic, problems of every conceivable type. And

with each problem comes corresponding symptoms. In the case of feelings,

when one is unwilling to face oneself, and/or when one lacks the know-how

with which to process and resolve feelings completely and to full

resolution, emotional congestion accrues and becomes every bit as

destructive as any form of physical congestion. The cost: such people live

small, guarded, relatively unfulfilling lives governed by " should " , " try " ,

and the like.

 

What can we do differently? We can rewrite our subconscious programming, we

can learn new ways to build self-awareness, to face our feelings in present

time and to process those feelings constructively, easily, and completely.

Then most of what we call " emotions " simply disappear. For to emote means to

move out. Most of what we call emotions are nothing more than a tragic

expression of unaddressed, unexpressed, unresolved feelings

underneath--sadness, pain, loss/grief, loneliness, and so forth. When we

truly address these, then everything ... and I mean EVERYTHING ... changes

for us, in ways that completely transcend mere dietary change.

 

You write:

___

I really do appreciate your straight answers, and the fact that you are

willing to offer directions, rather than leaving us, or me at least, to fend

for myself and find my own way, I'd probably get hopelessly lost. I

appreciate those who've gone before, who've done the research, and can offer

some real life examples of how things work. I know there are things I need

to find out on my own, and I'm quite willing to do that, it just helps to

have someone to bounce ideas off, and see whether my logic is actual logic,

or if I'm completely off track.

___

 

Thank you!!!

 

Best,

Elchanan

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

-

Elchanan

>Hi Caron, I'll respond selectively to certain of your observations ... I

really appreciate this entire post from you, the way you share about

yourself, the degree to which you reflect deeply upon your own experience.

 

Thankyou ) I value honesty, and I feel that has to start with myself (it's

a challenge, but worth the effort)

 

>You write:

___

I need to be able to sit down and focus

___

From my perspective, this is a most keen expression of self-awareness. I

would add " focus AND REST " . Shift in this arena, and you'll shift every part

of your life.

 

Yes, the resting comes with the focus, I think. By " focus " I mean think

about the task at hand, which is knowing myself, and healing myself. To do

that, I have to turn off the boy (or wait for him to go to sleep!), the

computer, the washing machine, and the million and one things in my mind

clamouring for attention. That's the hard part!

 

 

>You may recall my saying that I've chosen to let go of almost everything I

ever learned, that it was all wrong. From my perspective, this way of

thinking applies here. It is biologically impossible, as far as I am aware,

for us humans to express SOME feelings only. We either open to them all, or

we block them all.

 

I completely agree - I do think that all feelings are good BECAUSE they are

feelings. I just have a lot of trouble expressing the so-called " negative "

ones, because of the way they have been responded to by those around me. I

know it's very unpleasant to be around a child who's stomping their foot and

screaming, but in my opinion it's the parent's job to teach them how to

express that feeling (anger, frustration, whatever it is) in a more

appropriate way. I have no idea what that way is, though, so not only can't

I use it myself, but I can't teach my son. The only ways I've been able to

find, in parenting books, psychology books, whereever I've looked, include

avoiding, distracting ( " hey, let's go play a game instead! " ), or punishing

the undesirable behaviour. ALL of these methods fail to validate the

feeling, as well as failing to give it expression.

 

>Yes, I agree, nowadays most people seek stimulation and/or distraction in

lieu of creating genuine solutions to almost every personal problem

imaginable. Hence, all the discussions here about eating stimulants (a.k.a.

" recipes " , " spices " , " herbs " , etc.). For example, people claim to use

recipes to relieve boredom, to socialize more effectively, to " get certain

things down " (as bitter greens), and so forth. A thoughtful person can

easily discern that all these explanations are not reasons at all, but

rather alternate expressions of a desire to consume stimulants ... people

are habituated to seeking stimulation and/or distraction in the presence of

almost every challenging feeling or circumstance.

 

Exactly! This is not the path I want to go, nor do I want my son down that

road. Food should be fuel only (if we're eating the right foods, they WILL

taste good on their own). Feelings are completely seperate, and shouldn't be

dependent on any crutch. This is a conclusion I reached long before I

discovered raw foods.

 

>As I've written before, each of us does his/her best in every present

moment. So for those seeking stimulation, that is their best at this point

in time, and we may wish them continued success and improvement in the

future.

 

Indeed )

 

>When we SYSTEMATICALLY seek stimulation / distraction, we create for

ourselves systematic, or chronic, problems of every conceivable type. And

with each problem comes corresponding symptoms. In the case of feelings,

when one is unwilling to face oneself, and/or when one lacks the know-how

with which to process and resolve feelings completely and to full

resolution, emotional congestion accrues and becomes every bit as

destructive as any form of physical congestion. The cost: such people live

small, guarded, relatively unfulfilling lives governed by " should " , " try " ,

and the like.

 

Are you spying on me?? This is me, all of it. I'm debating whether my love

of learning and studying is a distracting stimulation, or healthy exercise

for my brain...My conscious motivation is purely to learn more, but I do get

very bored if I have to go very long without doing something constructive.

 

>What can we do differently? We can rewrite our subconscious programming, we

can learn new ways to build self-awareness, to face our feelings in present

time and to process those feelings constructively, easily, and completely.

Then most of what we call " emotions " simply disappear. For to emote means to

move out. Most of what we call emotions are nothing more than a tragic

expression of unaddressed, unexpressed, unresolved feelings

underneath--sadness, pain, loss/grief, loneliness, and so forth. When we

truly address these, then everything ... and I mean EVERYTHING ... changes

for us, in ways that completely transcend mere dietary change.

 

A logical step. It's the HOW that eludes me now ) And so I come full

circle, back to NEEDING that time out, to think. Maybe next week...

 

 

>You write:

___

I really do appreciate your straight answers, and the fact that you are

willing to offer directions, rather than leaving us, or me at least, to fend

for myself and find my own way, I'd probably get hopelessly lost. I

appreciate those who've gone before, who've done the research, and can offer

some real life examples of how things work. I know there are things I need

to find out on my own, and I'm quite willing to do that, it just helps to

have someone to bounce ideas off, and see whether my logic is actual logic,

or if I'm completely off track.

___

 

Thank you!!!

 

You're welcome ) Though I don't say it to flatter you - I don't like

flattery, I prefer truth. You have a very logical way of thinking, and I

appreciate that. You're also very generous with your time and information,

and I also appreciate this very much.

 

Caron