I am so disappointed in myself - long

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

 

I'm not on this listserve very often but I do read nearly everything that it is

written. I hope you, as veggie parents, can give me some guidance with this

issue.

 

As my children grow (I have 2.5 year old twin boys) I am more and more

distressed at the direction their diet is taking. I became a vegetarian in 1990

when it became clear to me that my body didn't do well with meat. Two years

later I was finally diagnosed with lactose intolerance after a lifetime of

stomach issues that disappeared as soon as I dropped dairy. I was, at that

point, vegan. I became involved in macrobiotics and studied it intensively for

5 years. I loved how I felt on the diet and thought/think it has tremendous

value. I also became a macrobiotic/vegan caterer and owned my own company for 7

years. After I sold the company, my partner and I kept up the same style of

cooking, taking turns and eating very well. I have become more of an ethical

vegetarian in the past 10 years and am teaching my boys about meat/animals. I

also believe that animal milk is not meant for humans and that it contributes to

a host of problems.

 

So here's the thing: I'm not practicing what I preach. First of all, the boys

eat dairy. I really researched the whole fat content thing and I just didn't

think I could get enough fat in their diet without it. I also didn't want to

start soy formula which I was using to supplement my own efforts because I heard

it could lead to allergies to soy later on in life (plus one of my sons had

trouble digesting everything except for one kind of formula). My boys are over

the 100th percentile in height but between the 10th and 25th in weight. They

are quite skinny and I just choose the easy route by giving them dairy. I only

" cook " for them on the weekends. I work and am now a single mother who works

full-time outside of the house. I have a nanny. She makes their meals. They

have such a limited repertoire it isn't funny. And nearly all of it is bread

(which I think is basically nutritionally useless) and dairy. They will eat

tonnes of fruit but won't

eat any vegetables. I add avocado to their smoothies (and tofu). They will

eat carrots and cucumbers. So far I have been unable to get them to eat whole

grains or beans. I've tried nearly every pre-packaged veggie entree that there

is (or at least is available in Canada) but the only one they like are veggie

dogs (that's if I can get them to put a forkful past their lips). I know all

too well you can be unhealthy as a vegetarian and eating veggie dogs as your

source of protein is going to contribute to that. I've also tried to switch

them to whole grain pasta and it was a no-go. Before kids, I never bought

anything with ingredients I didn't recognize.

 

The other day I looked at my beautiful glass jars full of grains and beans and

realized that I literally hadn't cooked anything from them in over a year. I

just got frustrated at cooking for them (and you know that this type of cooking

is time consuming) and them not eating it. I literally have 1 hour with them in

the morning before I have to get ready for work and 1 hour with them in the

evening after I get home before they go to sleep. Then I eat dinner (don't ask

- often a bowl of cheerios or 3 english muffins or something like that) and go

to bed myself (usually it's only about an hour from the time I've put them

down). I can't bear to think of cooking during that 1 hour. I feel like I need

it. But then I feel like something's got to give and maybe that hour is it. On

weekends, I can't cook. They are attached to me. They need to be watched

constantly. I just started to use the tv to give me a half hour in the kitchen

to put away groceries

and put something together for lunch (dairy, pasta and bread anyone?) but after

about a half hour, it stops holding their attention and then they just bug each

other and it's counterproductive.

 

I can't believe I've got to this place. It's not what I want for them and it's

not what I want for me. I know I sound pretty hard-core with the way I lived

but it worked so well for me and was so easy since I was cooking for a living.

Now I'm a lawyer, I grab food here and there and I collapse at home. I don't

want a poor me. I just don't know how to change this (not to mention how to

deal with the refusal of all the food that I'm likely to cook if I can figure

out how to do that too....oh, and let's also not talk about my mother's constant

whining about her not being able to feed them meat)

 

OK. If you stuck with this long self-pitying tale, I appreciate it. Thanks for

" listening " and I hope somebody has btdt and can help me out.

 

Amelia