No logic when it comes to diet and meat-eaters

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

 

I will try to make this as brief as possible. I wrote a post awhile back about

my situation. My boyfriend/partner is a single dad, and I turned him vegan

shortly after we started dating. His two daughters also had to go vegan because

as we all know no children really have choices whether its regarding diet or

religion or values etc. I wish our lives were as easy as just battling the

schools.

 

I was watching them (Lily 9yrs old and Anitsa 4 yrs old) five nights weekly for

about 6 months. Half way through that I found out I got accepted into the

masters program at Stony Brook University (SUNY) in New York for this fall.

Shortly after that things went down hill. The maternal grandmother filed for

full custody of both children (the older is not biologically his but the younger

is and he has full custody of both - the mother is now in jail but before was

barely doing weekly supervised visits - she is a crackwhore literally). Since

then, our lives have been ripped apart. We believed the guardian ad litum (a

fellow vegetarian) was on our side. Well, she HATES me!

 

As of right now I am living in NY while they are back in Ohio. Starting in

June, Johnny was able to find 1 decent overnight provider (he works nights) to

watch his children. I've never really liked her but she was ok for the moment

until we could reach our goal of Johnny finding a day job and/or me watching

them at night (us coming together as a family).

 

The whole summer has been a sickening battle with emphasis on our " crazy " vegan

diet. Well, the report from the guardian was finished in August. She ripped us

apart. She told his lawyer that she thinks im controlling and manipulative.

The report says horrible, untrue things about me and Johnny and completely

advises AGAINST our vegan diet. I can't even begin to describe how horrible it

really has been. I am the only one who has really given a shit besides Johnny,

and everyone hates me and now on record I am a horrible, inappropriate person

who according the guardian knows nothing about dealing with the kids. I was

devastated Cheri is doing this to spite Johnny - she doesn't want them and

since the pretrial has been given the oportunity to take them everynight and

hasnt and wont. When Lily was a baby, she slept in a car with her mother

because Cheri wouldnt let them stay at her home. As you guys are probably

thinking, there is no way in hell my grandchild would sleep in a car- maybe your

kid but not a baby. Cheri doesnt care about Lily. Lily is seen as a

possession. The whole situation is sickening and almost too much for me to

handle. Needless to say we are fighting this. We will be bringing in expert

witnesses regarding the importance of a vegan diet on the mind and the body. It

is more complicated than just is it healthy enough. Lily the older daughter has

an anxiety disorder among other issues (RAD and ADHD), and everyone is saying

this is too stressful for her because she has become resistent to it. Well, I

will tell you why because everyone is talking MAD shit about the diet making her

feel as if she is a freak for this and that it's wrong and unhealthy. Luckily,

the younger (she just turned 4) has really grasped onto it. But hence why we

are getting expert witnesses. It has been proven time and time again that

children who are victims of neglect and abuse (Lily - hence the Reactive

attachment disorder- her sperm donor was been MIA until she was 5 and her mom

abandoned her 2x before the age of 1) can be prevented from going down the path

of crime and teen pregnancy and drugs etc from humane education! Humane

education = teaching compassion for all.

 

Point is diet has no place in a custody battle. The reason this is such a

problem is because Cheri the grandmother (a top gm of red lobster) cant make

them a meal let alone a vegan one, and she wont stop shoveling fast food down

their throats. The younger one Anitsa actually thinks they have fake chicken at

Mcdonalds...at least her heart is in the right place but seriously WTF!!!!!!!!

If we wanted to shovel that down their throats, this would never ever be an

issue. Who cares if we kill our kids with obesity and fast food as long as it's

not veganism!!!! Still no one questions the quality of their diet just that we

dont feed them meat or dairy. No one asks about servings of fruits and veggies

daily...just concerned because no animal products...how is this logical?

 

I've been meaning to tell everyone about this because I knew everyone would be

horrified at the battle we must face over our healthy diet and values.

 

If that wasnt enough, we have run into a crisis with Cindy the overnight

provider. She is this hillbilly who I actually witnessed her call her pudgy

grandchild (who is under 10yrs old) a little piggy to her face as a loving sort

of joke. (Mind you Cindy's daughter who now does daycare calls her son " tard "

because he has ADHD and is lactose-intolerant- they think it makes him special

but obviously in a bad way - they call him this as a nickname - im sure everyone

is cringing horribly). so, ive been looking forward to the day we could say

bye-bye to her. Well, she finally did it. But before I tell you that, i will

tell you a story that will make you smile. Lily is a very compassionate child

and before everything went sour, she was really into it but still having a hard

time because of her need to fit in and the negativity around her. So when Lily

told her dad about wanting to eat chicken, I tried to help her make the

connection about chickens and all birds because cindy has a cockateil that Lily

loves so much. So we talked about how Annabell the cockateil is a bird, and are

birds are alike including chickens and we should love them all. Well, one

morning when I was picking them up for Johnny, Cindy was trying to argue about

the vegan thing with me and was informing me of how children's mind think (as in

they dont think logically or whatever). She told me that one night Lily told

Cindy that everytime she eats chicken, she's eating Annabell. And I kinda

laughed because that was my reaction. It was funny! Then Cindy tried to blab

on about how she would never eat her animals and it's different and how she had

chickens she wouldnt eat on her family's farm because she loved them (talk about

a person in self-denial about her values between food and pets)!!! But that a

vegan would never say that to her. I told her that actually they probably

would. Since then, she really despises me. Especially since then, she

constantly hassles Johnny about our choices.

 

Well, behind his back she told the children that she was throwing out the vegan

diet. Then when he confronted her about it at the same time she was threatening

to terminate care, she was giving him her " professional " opinion on our diet.

(yes johnny will be desperately searching for an overnight provider that can do

at least 3 nights a week - its really complicated). She claimed that this diet

is making Lily hyperactive and they don't get enough protein and if no one else

will follow it, she doesn't want to either! Can you believe this woman!!!??!!!

Johnny is soo angry at the audacity of her to go behind his back and say this

shit to his children AND the audacity of her to make decisions against his

wishes with which he has medical backing for!!! It is sickening!!! This

incident has motivated me to get become a registered dietitian either during my

masters or following so that people will actually listen to me since I would

technically be a professional.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. Of course I welcome any

thoughts, comments, or advice. Right now we are preparing ourselves for the

trial. Everyday we are trying to come up with new solutions. Today I came up

with the idea of making a standard diet log that will be filled out daily.

Johnny wanted to start doing thta to make sure they are getting enough

nutrients, which is a great idea. But if we have a sheet and keep asking Cheri

to fill it out, then it will look better on us. Plus either cheri wont do it,

which will look badly on her or it will show how much crap she is feeding them.

We were even going to say that we want to eventually have a nutritionist analyze

them.

 

And actually let me give a word of advice to anyone who may even come close to

dealing with something like this- Protect yourself. Don't assume that sharing

will benefit you. The guardian turned everything on us. Yes, the lawyer will

be putting her on the stand and ripping HER apart making her explain how she

came to those conclusions, but you are better off never even sharing. Document

everything but dont be so willing to share. The system is not just. You must

learn how to play the game and that's it!!! As horrible as it sounds, we try to

" manipulate " situations to set us up to look good and Cheri to fail. It is

sad that you must do this, but we made a lot of mistakes because we were honest

and very open and it has almost ruined us!

 

Again thank you for taking the time to listen to my story. Thanks ahead of time

for any responses!!

 

Sincerely,

 

Amanda

crowbabe1094

cubancuervo