OT: One reason I became a vegetarian, or how to open a can of tuna

[Guest guest]

How to Open a Can of Tuna at Chez Moi

Quietly as you can, assemble the necessary things, the can opener,

bandaids,canned tuna and bowl. Cough loudly, sing nonsense, make a LOT of noise

to cover up the fact that you have tuna ... oops, that didn't work, let's go to

attempt #2.

Attempt #2

Go into the bathroom with the can opener, bowl, tuna, fork and whatever else you

want in the tuna. Open the tuna, making rude noises at the cats outside the

door. Scream in horror and agony as the cat who was hiding in the linen closet

comes out and lands on your back removing skin, muscle tissue and the can of

tuna.

Attempt #3

Take can of tuna, can opener, bowl, fork, whatever outside. Shut the door.

Make obscene gestures at the cats as you open the tuna, put it into the bowl,

mix and eat. Return to the house and smirk. Go into the bedroom to discover a

little present from the cats adorning your pillow...and

blanket...sheets...shoes...closed dresser drawers...

Attempt #4

Open 15 cans of tuna, tossing them to the cats as fast as you can open them.

Open number 16 and try to eat as much as you can shovel in your mouth before

they go down the hatch after it.

Attempt #5

Make a peanut butter sandwich.

 

And people wonder why I am vegetarian. Jeanne in Georgia

 

 

 

 

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