Things I've learned from my Boys:

[Guest guest]

The following came from an anonymous mother in Texas

Things I've learned from my Boys:

 

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000

sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

 

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over

them with roller blades, they can ignite.

 

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a

crowded restaurant.

 

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is

not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman

underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however,

if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of

a 20x20 ft. room.

 

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan

is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw

the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan

can hit a baseball a long way.

 

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a

baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

 

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words " uh oh " ,

it's already too late.

 

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of

it.

 

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock

even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in

the movies.

 

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract

of a 4-year old boy.

 

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same

sentence.

 

12.) Super glue is forever.

 

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool

you still can't walk on water.

 

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

 

15.) VCR's do not eject " PB & J " sandwiches even though TV

commercials show they do.

 

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

 

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

 

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

 

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic

toys do not like ovens.

 

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute

response time.

 

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make

earthworms dizzy.

 

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

 

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

 

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and

brake fluid.

 

Susie or Susan

 

 

Some Americans need hyphens in their names, because only part of them has

come over; but when the whole man has come over, heart and thought and all, the

hyphen drops of its own weight out of his name. ~Woodrow Wilson