[WAR] 12 Days of Xmas 08: Day 11 - Top Ten Lists (Must read!)

[Guest guest]

****Cross Post Freely****

OPERATION: 12 DAYS OF XMAS '08

DAY 11: Stumpy & Bunny's Top 10 List & Twisted Xmas Songs and Poems

 

*Top Ten Reasons it Sucks to be a Customer of Huntingdon Life Sciences

 

10. No one comes to your barbeques anymore9. Your phone number has changed so many times, that your family can’t even find you8. You have to buy a second home as a decoy7. You need a second job to pay for home security and legal fees to control activists6. Your neck is always stiff from looking over your shoulder5. Your spouse wants you to get a less dangerous job like sky diver or snake handler4. No one will car pool with you after watching you check under your car with a mirror3.

Your wake up call is angry activists screaming "Wake Up Puppy Killer" through bullhorns2. Your children change their last name and pretend that they don’t know you in public1. Your dog leaves home to go live with the protesters

*Top Ten Reasons You Know Its Time to Quit Your Job at Huntingdon Life Sciences

 

10. Your wife starts writing large checks to faith healers as she guzzles another fifth of vodka. 9. Your security firm is too afraid to provide security, so they quit. 8. Activists rifling through your garbage put your soiled underwear up for auction on e-bay. 7. The 90 year old mother of your only market maker gets sex toys delivered to her nursing home. 6. You have to go to third world countries to find directors and a place to have your annual meeting. 5. The FBI tells your customers to check under their cars before driving them. 4. Your stock value is as much of a mystery as the fictitious accountant who cooks your books. 3. You have to cremate your dead mother because you are afraid that someone might dig up her remains. 2. You seek

therapy after the undertaker comes to your home to pick up your body. One problem, you’re not dead. 1. You cry as you watch your investment tank, as the LSR shareprice falls from $40.00 to $8.25.*Top Ten Reasons You Know You Are an Effective Activist

 

10. You have so many levels of PGP and security on your computer that it is hard to get into your own files. 9. Police officers start cracking their knuckles and stroking their batons when they see you on the street. 8. Your stack of lawsuits is taller than you are. 7. Your picture graces the target of a dartboard hanging in the Huntingdon Life Sciences executive offices. 6. You order your favorite brands of spray paint and crazy glue in bulk. 5. Your personal FBI agent keeps a one way ticket to "Gitmo" with your name on it in his breast pocket. 4. Your favorite hat converts into a balaclava with a single tug. 3. All your best friends are either in prison, under indictment or being investigated by grand juries.

2. You have your own personal file cabinet at FBI headquarters. 1. You get upgraded from domestic eco-terrorist to international eco-terrorist.

* Although these lists are almost identical to the lists posted last year, there have been changes to the #1 reason on all lists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~God Rest Ye Bloody Money Men(to the tune of: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)God rest ye bloody money menLet nothing block your way.You hopped on L-S-R which roseIn an astounding way.You raked in all the profits While the beagle pups did pay...O tidings of profits and wealth Profits and wealthO tidings of profits and wealthFrom England to America This wretched company cameAnd unto all the animalsThey brought enormous painHow can they get away with it?The government’s to blame O tidings of torture and

deathTorture and deathO tidings of torture and death

“Fear not, then” said the men in masks“Let nothing you affright”This day we come to free them allAnd things will look so brightTo liberate them all is rightFrom Baker’s power and might.O weeping and whining by CassWhining by CassO weeping and whining by CassNow to the A-L-F give praiseAll you that profit from painAnd with true love and brotherhoodForget this evil nameYou may have lost your soul this yearBut once you dump those sharesWe’ll take you off the target list And you won’t have a

careThen....tidings of comfort and joyDump H-L-SIt’s your only way out of this mess.Dedicated to the Investors in LSR (Huntingdon Life Sciences)Especially Barclay Global Investors, Bank of New York and Wells FargoWAR is coming.....~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Night Before Christmas at HLSTwas the night before Christmas and all through the labNot a creature was stirring, not even a crab.All the lab coats were hung, in their lockers with careWith hopes that no one would know, what goes on in there.Then what did I see, when I next looked out backBut a crew dressed in black, with sacks on their backs.One motioned to others with quick clever hand signals"Start taking the beagles from their cold lonely kennels".And faster than you can say the letters A-L-FThey moved through the labs liberating the rest.First beagles, then kitties, then hamsters and ratsThen guinea pigs, rabbits, veal calves, birds and bats.They opened the cages and let every single one outAs they smashed it all up, they started to shout:"Baker, Cass, Bibi and Michaelson tooIf you don't cut it out, we will do

this to you!"But before they could leave they had one more choreThat this lab couldn't function they had to be sureThey must put an end to this nasty pain whoreSo they took all their timers and gas cans galoreAnd they set it all up, to go off with a roarWith the critters now safe and free from their painThey barked, purred and played as bad memories waned.One of the masked ones was then heard to say, as they climbed over fences and melted away…."HLS, if you torture and kill any more, we'll be back with C-4 and you'll pay then for sure"by Camille Hankins, WAR - Xmas 2008Visit the WAR Calendar for future events: http://calendar./winanimalrightsVisit the WAR MySpace page: http://www.myspace..com/winanimalrightsVisit the WAR

Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Win-Animal-Rights/25169195791

For more info contact Win Animal Rights at: centcomCall: 646.267.9934 or visit the WAR website at: http://war-online.org