RE: etiquette - great salad

[Guest guest]

I want to thank everyone for their kind answers. I really

wondered if I was just “feeling sorry for myself†or if I was right to expect

friends to want to do something nice for me. Even if they try and fail – that would

be okay, it just seemed so mean to hear. But around the holidays, I know it is

possible to get into a “funkâ€.

 

When I bring my food – I always bring something special – even my

salad is a work of art as well as having all the goodies separated. By the way –

I might mention the salad I generally make for their parties is in a

rectangular pan, sometimes a larger one – a lasagna pan carrier, sometimes a

lasagna pan, depending on the crowd. I use lettuce, carrots, cabbage and red

cabbage as a base, then I make 7 stripes on top. This way if someone does not

like the add ins – they can still enjoy the salad. The stripes are whatever I

have, could be olives, tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, artichokes, shredded carrots

(in this case they would not be in the base), chick peas, celery, cheese (that I

don’t eat) etc…

 

The other thing that REALLY puzzles me is the husband weighs

over 600lbs I am not sure how much – but at least the size of 3 heavy set men,

and the wife is also quite over weight, has trouble with just 3 steps, they

have high blood pressure, diabetes, and the husband no longer works because he

has pain in his knees. I just don’t get it. I feel they would have a better

life – if they would eat my diet.

 

No one else does this to me – they enjoy sharing nurturing

foods. Also, it is not one sided – whatever I bring is almost always gone, I do

fuss and bring something everyone likes. I make stuff too – not just buy it –

stuffed bread, and more.  And as I mentioned, these are people that I thought

of as long time friends, not work associates or acquaintances.  When they have

car trouble, need help setting up electronics, got a new computer etc – they call

us and we drive up there to help them when they need help. I felt as though

someone literally punched me in the stomach – I really felt pain.

 

The lactose pills don’t work for me. My doctor never said why –

he just said “I am not surprised that is common, but you had to find out for

yourselfâ€. So this diet is not only by choice – not that that makes any

difference though.

 

I spoke with her – turns out she thought I should bring my own food

“you always do, I wondered what was the matter with youâ€. I didn’t want to get

into it. Other friends suggested that there was really nothing I can do to

change their minds. I did do one thing though… I wrote to another friend that

writes a food article in the local paper and has been published in the NY Times.

Perhaps she can write an article on this and make my point for me.

 

Thank you for your comments.

 

Jeanette

 

 

 

 

 

 

On

Behalf Of spence

Monday, January 04, 2010 9:57 PM

 

Re: etiquette

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is too

bad. All of my friends cater to my eating style, but I am also not the

only vegan or at least vegetarian.

What I find interesting and ironic, when people are diagnosed with a health

condition, i.e., high blood pressure, high cholestreal, or any of the

heart/blood diseases, see how fast they change their diet. The first

thing they will be told by their doctor to stop is meat, dairy and salt.

Or they will be one of the many that just want the pills.

 

I think along with book clubs, their needs to be vegan clubs. I love

getting together with my vegan friends and having a cooking weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

J. Kavanagh <j_kavanagh

 

Mon, January 4, 2010 5:57:59 PM

RE: etiquette

 

 

 

 

I was just wondering about getting invited for holiday

parties. I generally bring my own food to be safe. However, I was invited to

someone’s party – who I thought was my friend. She asked me to bring a salad,

because I always make them so “yummie†– she went on to say that someone was

bringing macaroni and cheese and another person that I had thought was a friend

was making a lasagna…and she went on to say “there won’t be anything you can eatâ€.

I don’t know why, it just hit me. I did not think that what friends do to

friends. Every year she does this – offering nothing for me to eat. I find this

very puzzling.

Wikipedia states “Friendship is

the cooperative and supportive relationship between people…Value ..the tendency to

desire what is best

for the other .â€

We ended up talking as I did not go. She

thinks that I should have to bring my own food and felt no obligation to

provide anything I could enjoy.

I don’t feel that a dairy free diet is all

that unusual or hard to accommodate. If I am being invited to a long time

“friends†house for dinner, is it unreasonable to expect something to eat?

How are you treated by “friends�

Jeanette