How can really nice bay area folks care so little about animals?

[Guest guest]

Dear Fellow Veg*ns,

 

Hi and very happy holidays to all of you : )

 

I am wondering if anyone has any insight into, and suggestions for, a problem that I encounter again and again.

 

Here we are, in the bay area, that bastion of liberal, educated, " enlightened " beings. The bay area, with its large number of genuinely compassionate and caring people.

 

And yet these same people, who collect toys for needy children, volunteer at soup kitchens, etc., do *not* want to hear anything about being vegan.

 

I have been to a number of holiday parties this year, where the folks were truly kind, warm, friendly and caring. The kind of people that almost anyone would say were exceptionally nice

 

Because food was served, the fact that I'm vegan came up. Not only was the subject *quickly* changed, but in fact some people eyed me suspiciously. It was as if I was wearing a sign that said: " I am better than you are. I am more moral. Also, I am a fanatic with confused priorities who cares more about animals than people " .

 

It is just so confusing and angering to me to watch such (otherwise) authentically kind, open-minded people, who 99.9% of the world would consider great people, chow down on ham, beef, turkey, chicken, bacon, etc. And most of them " own " dogs and cats that they treat very well.

 

I want to scream " What is wrong with you people?! " But of course that would only reinforce their conviction that I am strange.

 

Finally, if I lived in a small town in the Midwest or the South or something, I would not be having this reaction. But these are people who know (and some are even friends with) a vegan or two, and so they can easily know the reality of " animal husbandry " . And they don't want to. I do not get it.

 

How can such " super nice " people care so little about suffering " food animals " ?

 

Stephanie

 

-- " Our task must be to widen our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. " Albert Einstein " The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the ways its animals are treated. " Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

Hi Stephanie and everyone,

 

I know how you feel, I have experieced the same feeling so many times.

 

Here's my take:

I think it comes from a blend of deep lifelong social conditioning,

human nature,

learned cravings and addictions and lack of information. The culture has set up

rationalizations and methods to justify what we do to animals.

 

Also, and I think this is important, as long as non vegans

can make the issue about you - you are a fanatic, care more about

animals than people,

are over-emotional and irrational, etc. then they can avoid the real

issue which is the violence,

cruelty and suffering we inflict. On some level they know it and this

is why they get uncomfortable

because they want to block out any feelings of guilt or discomfort.

 

The World Peace Diet by Will Tuttle and Living Amoung Meat Eaters by

Carol Adams discuss these things.

 

The more imprtant question is how to deal with it and how to get

others to break through their barriers.

 

I have been trying to figure this out myself for years. I don't really

know. This is my most recent and I think best approach:

 

I explain veganism with words like compasion, non-violence,

gentleness, the golden rule: things that most people, especially the

kind of people you referred to, say they agree with. I explain that

pain is pain and suffering is suffering and veganism is not only about

animals but compassion for all and veganism is a way to live

consistently with the values that they have inside. Depending on the

person and situation, I try to judge

what to say, how much to say, and when to say it. I refer them to

books, DVDs, or give them pamplets.

While people are eating animals is not the time to talk about this, so

I might just write down the name of a book or 2.

 

In fact, it seems to me that most people go vegan from reading a book,

or watching a video, or reading pamplets. So I think you can plant

seeds with words and then give them pamplets or refer them to other

sources, or lend or give them these sources.

 

I try to always make it not about me being vegan but about the

suffering that feeling beings endure. This gets back to my previous

point. As long as they can make it about you they can dismiss and

avoid the issue of the suffering and what animals endure. Don't sound

like you are judging them or sound angry.

 

Always try to find common ground and explain that you used to eat all

of those foods until you read certain books and learned the facts,

etc.

 

Of course, I still have interactions that I don't feel good about, but

I learn from them and try to figure out what to say better the next

time.

 

As I said, I don't have the answer, if I did then everyone I know

would be vegan, but above is some of what I have concluded.

 

Any other suggestions out there?

 

Nettie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Wed, Dec 17, 2008 at 11:54 AM, S Falcone <bekindbecause wrote:

> Dear Fellow Veg*ns,

>

> Hi and very happy holidays to all of you : )

>

> I am wondering if anyone has any insight into, and suggestions for, a

> problem that I encounter again and again.

>

> Here we are, in the bay area, that bastion of liberal, educated,

> " enlightened " beings. The bay area, with its large number of genuinely

> compassionate and caring people.

>

> And yet these same people, who collect toys for needy children, volunteer at

> soup kitchens, etc., do *not* want to hear anything about being vegan.

>

> I have been to a number of holiday parties this year, where the folks were

> truly kind, warm, friendly and caring. The kind of people

> that almost anyone would say were exceptionally nice

>

> Because food was served, the fact that I'm vegan came up. Not only was the

> subject *quickly* changed, but in fact some people eyed me suspiciously.

> It was as if I was wearing a sign that said: " I am better than you are. I

> am more moral. Also, I am a fanatic with confused priorities who cares more

> about animals than people " .

>

> It is just so confusing and angering to me to watch such (otherwise)

> authentically kind, open-minded people, who 99.9% of the world would

> consider great people, chow down on ham, beef, turkey, chicken, bacon, etc.

> And most of them " own " dogs and cats that they treat very well.

>

> I want to scream " What is wrong with you people?! " But of course that would

> only reinforce their conviction that I am strange.

>

> Finally, if I lived in a small town in the Midwest or the South or

> something, I would not be having this reaction. But these are people who

> know (and some are even friends with) a vegan or two, and so they can easily

> know the reality of " animal husbandry " . And they don't want to. I do not

> get it.

>

> How can such " super nice " people care so little about suffering " food

> animals " ?

>

> Stephanie

>

> --

> " Our task must be to widen our circle of compassion to embrace all living

> creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. " Albert Einstein

>

> " The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the ways

> its animals are treated. " Mahatma Gandhi

>

>

 

 

 

--

" The thinking (person) must oppose all cruel customs, no matter how

deeply rooted in tradition and surrounded by a halo. When we have a

choice, we must avoid bringing torment and injury into the life of

another. "

Albert Schweitzer