Fwd: [AnimalsInNeed] Beaver dams...lengthy but hilarious!

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Very funny!

 

Kristina

 

-----

 

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> This is worth the read!!! LOL

 

 

>

> The Dam

>

The following is a genuine hoot. This was an actual

letter sent to Ryan De Vries from The Michigan Department of Environmental

Quality, State of

Michigan. Wait till you read this guy's response -

but read the entire letter before you get to the response.

 

Mr. Ryan De Vries

2088 Dagget Pierson, MI 49339

 

Dear Mr. De Vries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N;

> R10W, Sec. 20;

> Montcalm County

>

> It has come to the attention of the Department

> of environmental

> Quality

> that there has been recent unauthorized activity on

> the above referenced

> parcel of property. You have been certified as the

> legal landowner and/or

> contractor who did the following unauthorized

> activity: Construction and

> maintenance of two wood debris dams across the

> outlet stream of Spring Pond.

>

> A permit must be issued prior to the start of this

> type of activity. A

> review

> of the Department's files shows that no permits have

> been issued. Therefore,

>

> the Department has determined that this activity is

> in violation of Part

> 301,

> Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource

> and Environmental

> Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,

> being sections 324.30101

>

> to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws,

> annotated. The Department has

> been informed that one or both of the dams partially

> failed during a recent

> rain event, causing debris and flooding at

> downstream locations. We find

> that

> dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and

> cannot be permitted. The

> Department therefore orders you to cease and desist

> all activities at this

> location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow

> condition by removing all

>

> wood and brush forming the dams from the stream

> channel. All restoration

> work

> shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998.

> Please notify this office when the restoration has

> been completed so that a

> follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our

> staff. Failure to comply

> with this request or any further unauthorized

> activity on the site may

> result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement

> action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in

thismatter.

>

> Please feel free to contact me at this office if you

> have any questions.

> Sincerely,

>

> David L. Price

> District Representative

> Land and Water Management Division

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> RESPONSE

>

> Dear Mr. Price:

> Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W,

> Sec. 20;Montcalm County

> Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been

> handed to me to respond

> to. First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal

> landowner and/or

> contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am

> the legal owner and a

> couple of beavers are in the (State

> unauthorized)process of constructing and

>

> maintaining two wood " debris " dams across the outlet

> stream of my Spring

> Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor

> supervise their dam project, I

>

> think they would be highly offended that you call

> their skillful use of

> natural building materials " debris. " I would like to

> challenge your

> department to attempt to emulate their dam project

> any time and/or any

> place

> you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no

> way you could ever

> match

> their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their

> dam ingenuity, their dam

> persistence, their dam determination and/or their

> dam work ethic. As to your

>

> request, I do not think the beavers are aware that

> they must first fill out

> a

> dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam

> activity. My first dam

> question to you is: (1) Are you trying to

> discriminate against my Spring

> Pond

> Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout

> this State to conform

> to

> said dam request?

>

> If you are not discriminating against these

> particular beavers, through

>

> the Freedom of Information Act I request completed

> copies of all those other

>

> applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.

> Perhaps we will see if

> there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland

> Lakes and Streams, of

> the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection

> Act, Act 451 of the Public

>

> Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113

> of the Michigan Compiled

>

> Laws, annotated.

>

> I have several concerns. My first concern is -

> aren't the beavers

> entitled

> to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are

> financially destitute

> and are unable to pay for said representation so the

> State will have to

> provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam

> concern that either one

>

> or both of the dams failed during a recent rain

> event causing flooding is

> proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the

> Department is required to

>

> protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring

> Pond Beavers alone

> rather

> than harassing them and calling their dam names. If

> you want the stream

> " restored " to a dam free-flow condition - please

> contact the beavers - but

> if

> you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not

> pay any attention to

> your dam letter being unable to read English) - be

> sure they are read the

> Miranda rights first. As for me, I am not going to

> cause more flooding or

> dam

> debris jams by interfering with these dam builders.

> If you want to hurt

> these

> dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your

> dam letter and this

> response to PETA. If your dam department seriously

> finds all dams of this

> nature inherently hazardous and truly will not

> permit their existence in

> this

> State, I seriously hope you are not selectively

> enforcing this dam policy or

>

> once again both the Spring Pond Beavers and I will

> scream prejudice! In my

> humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right

> to build their

> unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the

> grass is green and water

> flows downstream. They have more dam right than I do

> to live and enjoy

> Spring

> Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and

> Environmental Protection

> lives up to its name, it should protect the natural

> resources(Beavers) and

> the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the

> beavers and I are

> concerned,this dam case can be referred for more

> elevated enforcement action

>

> right now. why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond

> Beavers may be under the

> dam ice then and there will be no way for you or

> your dam staff to

> contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would

> like to bring to your

> attention a real environmental quality (health)

> problem in the area. It is

> the bears. Bears are actually defecating in our

> woods. I definitely believe

> you should be persecuting the defecating bears and

> leave the beavers alone.

> If you are going to investigate the beaverdam, watch

> your step! (The bears

> are not careful where they dump!)

> Being unable to comply with your dam request,

> and being unable to

> contact you on your dam answering machine, I am

> sending this response to

> your

> day office via another government organization - the

> dam USPS.

> Maybe, someday, it will get there.

> Sincerely,

>

> Stephen L. Tvedten

>

 

 

 

 

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