Guest guest Posted December 21, 2000 Report Share Posted December 21, 2000 Zine-on-an-Email Christmas 2000 Edited by Andy Savage Festive Poems Oh Shepherd's Pie of Bethlehem Oh Shepherd's Pie of Bethlehem How I so want to eat you, You smell so fine, you'll soon be mine, It's just too good to be true, I'm starting to dribble I'm starting to sweat, My gut sounds like a bear, I wouldn't sell you for ten quid Or swap you for a pear. Lovely Ivor There's Always Something...............I don't know why,Maybe it was the smell of the turkey,But on Christmas DayOur tree climbed out of his bucketAnd went for us.The dog was the first to be eaten.It just whined and wimperedAs branches stabbed his noseAnd roots sucked out his bones.My Mum was next.She tried to fight it off with a cheese knifeBut the tree strangled her with its fairy lights.Luckily thoughMy grandma happened to have a sawn-off shotgunAnd she blasted the tree away,A paper hat sitting merrily on her head.Then I had to clean up the whole bloody mess.Andy Savage Ghostly Christmas I can hide within the flicker of a lonely candle & blow myself out any time To plunge you into the kind of darkness Where you know something is watching That you cannot see Or touch But I can stroke my long icy fingers Down the back of your goose-pimpled neck the ghost of Ethelred Yuletide Chant Ring out those solstice bellsSnow falls on the hillsideLike so many thousand yearsWe celebrate the yuletide So springtime will come againBringing forth the flowers & winter will melt awayIn awe of nature's powers All that we come to giveIs all we will receiveLike the stars that shine so brightWe see and we believe Ring out those solstice bellsSnow falls on the hillsideLike so many thousand yearsWe celebrate the yuletide Andy Savage Here's the url to hear a lo-fi mp3 stream of this piece: http://chooser.mp3.com/cgi-bin/play/play.cgi/AAICQvaKEADABG5vcm1QBAAAAFKfXQEAUQEAAABDVdcnOhUMtkRJwpyUcaXamjlbq2s-/yuletide_chant.m3u Cake I had a little drinkI had a little cakeFor at Christmas timeI do partake,But then I turned greenAnd felt unwellAnd threw it all back upAs far as I could tell,So now I feel real sorryAnd just want to close my eyesBut first I'll have a sherryAnd twenty more mince pies!Lovely Ivor Flickering Candle Flickering candleMy only light,Like a goldfishSwimming bright,Hypnotic,Weird & scary,Making a monsterOf the Christmas fairy.Andy Savage Review Not Sinking But Cruising, by Helen Buckingham The 34th in the series of tiny Rump Booklets published by Krax magazine. This one features poems largely based on the topics of the bedroom and booze! Here's a festive offering from the collection: Season's Greetings Soused streets grief and chips black ice gritted lips The Old Fox...... The umpteenth bitter kiss Price is 12p (30 cents) from: Krax, 63 Dixon Lane, Leeds, LS12 4RR, UK. You can listen to and read lots more festive songs and poems at our mp3.com station, Christmas Crackers http://www.mp3.com/stations/christmas_crackers All the best for Xmas and the New Year! Andy To to future issues of Zine-on-an-Email, just send a blank email to: zineonanemail- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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