(MY) monstrous alien pets

[Guest guest]

Sunday Mail News: Kongster Says: Monstrous pet

 

01 September 2002

 

I am talking about the cockroach. Ahem, I am not talking cock. It has been

wandering through the corners of my mind since The Malay Mail front-paged a

report, early this week, about monster cockroaches from Africa being shipped

into our country.

 

The creepy affair all started when the folk in Thailand thought it was cool to

import to this part of the world the Madagascar hissing roach as a pet. But

eventually, even the Thais who eat fried grasshoppers and other bugs, couldn't

stomach the ugly creatures.

 

Before it became a big cock-up, before it threatened to be a health risk and

public nuisance, the Thai authorities declared a ban on the import and breeding

of the Madagascar roaches.

 

I pray it's not too late. I dread the thought of a pair of eloping monster

roaches encroaching on Malaysian territory - walking through the barbed wire

under the moon, across the Malaysian-Thai border.

 

One pair of 'em is enough to populate Malaysia with a few million

monster roaches. These roaches, which grow up to 6.35cm - 2.35cm longer than

your neighbourhood cockroach - breed like lalang, (a kind of weed grass)

producing 30 to 60 offspring within a two-month gestation period.

 

To come to our capital, the roaches - which can grow as big as house rats,

terrorise cats and all - need not walk past immigration at Bukit Kayu Hitam.

They get a free ride into Kuala Lumpur, being imported by traders out to make a

quick buck.

 

The monster cockroach can be purchased at some pet shops here at RM10 to RM20

each. A pet shop owner, whom I call Mr Roach, revealed that the Madagascar roach

was an instant hit here.

 

" I received 10 last week and they were all snapped up within two days, " said

Mr Roach who has sold more than 80 of the roaches in two months.

 

Some idiots sell 'em, some idiots buy 'em, treating these roaches as pets, not

pests. But they never know, or don't want to know, what they are dealing with.

Who knows? The Madagascar roach might hobnob with their Malaysian cousins -

leading to a more monstrous mate-in-Malaysia Mada-Malaya breed.

 

Imagine this. A kid gets tired of his cockroach that he takes to the park for a

walk. Soon he'll kiss that Madagascar hissing roach good-bye and throw it out

of the house. Then, the roaches'll get together and form their own colonies.

 

Cockroaches - the name originated from the Spanish word cucaracha - are such

disgusting creatures that sometimes I wonder why God ever created them. To keep

us literally on our toes? The hideous roach hides under cups and plates, giving

you the creeps. When feeding, they walk, spit and shit on their food. I mean...

who would do that? Who would be that stupid? But cockroaches are not stupid.

They run from danger, they don't look for trouble and they lie low. You can call

them cowards, but their kind has survived for more than 320 million years.

 

Some scientists believe that cockroaches walked or crept on the surface of the

earth even before humans did. And they are such hardy survivors that they

develop resistance to insecticides, absorbing the poisons thrown at them.

 

It could happen. It has happened. The poor among us already share their homes

with the cockroaches, food and all. They don't make strange bedfellows anymore.

 

The rich think that their big homes, cleaned and well-scrubbed by maids, have

no room for the cockroach. But when irresponsible people import monster roaches,

we may have to live with it - that some oval-shaped stinking creature might be

creeping along our sewage systems. And it could be mutating and multiplying.