UK Fox hunting article (witty)

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Hi everyone,

 

I've just cut and pasted a small section of news from AL NSW about fox

hunting. Please vote, it's really quick.HUNTING IN THE UK

 

If you want to have your say against Hunting with Dogs in the UK, vote in

this online poll.http://www.guardian.co.uk/hunt/page/0,11796,669620,00.html

Also below I have pasted an article from the UK, The Guardian. It's

wonderfully witty and you can email a comment of congratulations on

comment

 

Regards

 

Wendy

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A Dog's Life for Foxes

John O'Farrell

Saturday March 2,

2002

The Guardian

 

Government acts to stop hunting, say the headlines. Cue a hundred dismal

cartoons of a fox with Stephen Byers' face, running away from lots of dogs

that seem to have " Fleet Street " or " MPs " written on their side. In fact

there hasn't actually been a great deal of fox-hunting over the past 12

months. All the foxes looked on confused as the humans apparently discovered

a new rural hobby, which involved piling up thousands of sheep and cow

carcasses and then setting fire to them. " That's even sicker than what they

did to us! " said the foxes to each other.

 

But now the hounds are busy once more and the hunting enthusiasts are eager

to make up for all those lost fixtures in their calendar. If " country

sports " really are a sport, how come the same side always wins? Does this

always come as a surprise to the participants? Do the hunters look on

excitedly with their fingers crossed to see whether the fox rips the dogs

to pieces or vice versa? You don't get the fox being interviewed on

Sportsnight beforehand saying: " Well Brian, I'm really confident about this

one, I've had a couple of fights in the run-up; there was that easy win

against Mr Rabbit, but this is the big one I've been training for. "

" So you're not worried that the bookies have you at a 1,000-1 against

beating this pack of foxhounds? "

" What, you mean there's more than one of them? Er, excuse me - I've just got

to call to my agent. "

 

Last month the coalition in the Scottish parliament managed to impose

Labour's promise of a ban, which the House of Commons, with its huge

Labour majority, still has not. And yet there are signs that the government

is once more hoping to find some sort of compromise on this issue.

This is where I have a problem with the philosophy of the third way. The

fox either gets ripped to shred by a pack of hounds, or it doesn't. You

can't be a little bit barbaric. It wouldn't be much consolation to the fox

that under New Labour's third way he at least gets to take part in a full

consultation process beforehand and the hounds that kill him have to be

fully licensed and registered.

 

But confronted with another historic set of seemingly implacable enemies the

prime minister cannot resist the chance to broker another historic peace

deal. Under his proposed settlement, foxes may have to withdraw from their

new settlements in many urban areas and promise to stop tipping the KFC

cartons out of wheely-bins. The hounds will be allowed to patrol the

countryside, but only in their new role as peacekeepers. Any dogs that

mistakenly savage a fox will risk being told off when the inquiry is

completed in 20 years' time.

 

In fact the government is promoting a middle way which would involve

fox-hunting only being permitted under licence. This would be like solving

the problem of burglary by issuing housebreaking permits and requiring the

burglars to close the door behind them. Apparently there would be people

whose job it was to ensure that fox-hunting was not being excessively

cruel or drawn out. How the neutral monitoring of fox-hunting is going to

work I cannot imagine. The supervisors would have to be like the parents of

squabbling siblings. " Stop fighting all of you - To which the fox says:

" No, we are not as bad as each other, there are dozens of them and one of

me, and they are going to rip me to shreds. "

" Look I don't want to hear any more! Why can't you just try and get on with

one another... "

 

If fox-hunting is to continue under new regulations then we should

campaign to make these new rules as obstructive as possible. For a start,

foxhounds must be kept on leads at all times, (though not those extendable

ones that get wrapped around everyone's legs). Harsh fines should be

imposed for any hounds fouling the countryside; with the master of the

hunt being made responsible for clearing up after his dogs.

His little trumpet can be employed to alert everyone that another dog is

doing his business - that familiar fanfare will now mean: " Oh no, there's

another one over here, pass us another little polythene bag. "

 

Equal opportunities policy must be invoked to ensure that minority breeds of

dogs are not discriminated against; forcing hunts to employ little shih-tzus

and miniature chihuahuas, who may need to be helped over some of the larger

clumps of grass.

 

But anyone who believes that a compromise is really possible should try

explaining the third way to a fox. It is not a question of class warfare;

hunting should be banned because it is a matter of principle and of

democracy. The practice is barbaric, it's opposed by a huge majority of

the British people and the people who do it are a bunch of snobby Tories

with stupid posh accents. Oh damn, I didn't say that, damn what a

giveaway...