Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 (This is a satire drawing attention to Animal Rights Activists (not Welfarists) who choose not to be Vegan and those who are not even true Vegetarians - and I have met a few people who insist Vegetarians eat fish when Vegetarians do NOT eat fish because fish are animals.) This list was written several years ago I believe. INFAMOUS ANIMAL RIGHTS VEGETARIANS There’s all different types of vegetarians in the animal rights movement. There’s... 1. The lacto, ovo, prawn-eating on special occasions at Christmas or in Chinese restaurants vegetarian. 2. The just a little bit of skim milk powder in the canned tomato soup vegetarian. 3. The cow’s milk in the coffee because I can’t stand the taste of soy milk, veal calves taken away from their mothers, and crying out in the dark confined to crates, later to have their throats cut vegetarian. 4. The now we don’t want to offend anybody, it’s really their choice vegetarian. 5. The free range egg crush all the male chicks to a pulp for chicken stock cubes, and then kill the hens when they are no longer laying vegetarian. 6. The little pearl necklace, it was my grandmother’s, shake the sea animal out of the shell, and dredge them out of the dying ocean with big nets until they suffocate, and the oceans are completely devoid of life vegetarian. 7. The Arnott’s biscuit, animal fat that sticks to the roof of your mouth vegetarian. 8. The now it’s no use upsetting everyone or you’ll never get your message across, because everyone has their own opinion, and we should respect that compromising vegetarian. 9. The it’s okay to wear these old leather shoes, because the animal is already dead, it’s not my fault and it would have been killed anywayvegetarian. 10. The meat-eating vegetarian who uses cruelty-free cosmetics. 11. The gelatin in the iceblock and mixed lollies, I enjoy sucking on horse and cow’s hoofs, combined with sugar and chemicals vegetarian. 12. The just a little bit of leather on my handbag straps, and sheep skin car seat covers in the winter months, vegetarian. 13. The it’s only synthetic bacon, chicken, and lip smacking beef flavouring in the potato chip packet vegetarian. 14. The pet lover who feeds their animal native wildlife in a canvegetarian. 15. The now it doesn’t help to yell at anybody, or show them gruesome pictures of animals being killed in slaughterhouses, or they’ll never become vegetarian vegetarian. 16. The just a drop of honey (millions of bees crushed and smoked out of their hives) in the museli bar, or wholemeal healthfood shop cookie and carob bar, vegetarian. 17. The I hate feral cats for destroying the environment, and for, killing all the native animals, dairy, wool and beef industry supporting, little bit of leather around my neck hippie vegetarian. 18. The ban the live sheep exports and support Australian meatworker’s, I got to sit on an animal liberation committee and voice my viewsvegetarian. 19. The ethics committee, some animal experiments are necessary, little toy placed in the animals cage at the vivisection laboratory,vegetarian. 20. The dyed and processed wool wearing, because its a natural fibre as long as the sheep is shorn and killed with compassion, during drought and flood and for its lamb and mutton, vegetarian. 21. The ‘rennet-free’ dairy cheese, baby calves taken away from their mothers, who have tried to hide them in the straw, vegetarian 22. The free range egg, chicken, cow, sheep and pig, at least they are humanely murdered vegetarian. 23. The hot potato chips fried in animal fat, and the same fat as the battered shark and chiko roll filled with slaughterhouse floor scraps, vegetarian. 24. The let’s lobby McDonalds to cook a vegie burger, and support them chopping down the Amazon rainforest, brutally slaughtering billions of animals worldwide and destroying the health of people with their unhealthy food, because at least that’s a step in the right direction for them, vegetarian. 25. The same knife used to cut the tomato as the lamb, and the same hotplate for the vegie burgers as the cow carcass burgers, in the milkbar cross contamination, vegetarian. 26. The I don’t know if there’s chicken’s egg or cow’s milk in that cake, but I’ll eat it anyway vegetarian. 27. The I don’t care about animals but I do it for my health, and if it meant that killing animals was good for my health, then I’d have no objection to that, even if I had to kill them with my bare hands down in the backyard or bite the heads off them myself, vegetarian. 28. The indigenous people I apologise to the animal, the more endangered the bigger the prayer, before I stab it to death as it kicks and cries out in agony, obviously not understanding what I was saying, vegetarian. 29. The ethical transportation, bigger cages for the chickens, the pre-stunning of cattle, a scratch on the back for the pigs at the free range farm, before they are brutally murdered in slaughterhousesvegetarian. 30. The I like meat because of the taste of it, but I don’t eat much meat nowadays, because I’m largely a vegetarian, vegetarian. List compiled by Coral Hull & Fiona Rees Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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