Ice-Age 17

November 7, 1999

ICE-AGE

By Andy Savage

http://www.andysav.free-online.co.uk/engine.htm

Chapter 17

Dave was shivering, but he was not sure whether it was from cold or trauma, " So which way do we go now? " he asked, eager to move on, " Left or right? "

Device shrugged, " Ask her. She seems to know her way around. "

" And just what is that supposed to mean? " snarled Linda, her eyes burning with hate, " You’re the one who led us to this dreadful place, you moron! "

" You made us all come back down here! " retorted Device.

Linda looked outraged, " Well! That is because, you disgusting piece of filth, you were going to sell me to a bunch of sodding cannibals! "

" I wasn’t going to sell you, you’re not worth anything! I was going to give you to them! And if I had, me and Dave would be safe by now! "

" Oh, you’d be safe, would you! How wonderful for you! " blazed Linda angrily, clenching her fists, " But what about me? I wouldn’t exactly be safe, would I? "

" Who cares about you? " sneered Device, with utter contempt.

" You selfish, evil, arrogant swine! " screamed Linda, " You owe me one almighty apology! "

Device laughed in her face, " Get stuffed you daft cow! " he said.

Linda gasped in exasperation and turned to Dave, " How can you have anything to do with this vile animal? " she said, shaking her head.

Dave’s sympathies were with Linda, and he felt quite embarrassed, but he did not want to alienate Device, " Oh come on, you two, " he said, wrapping his arm around Linda’s shoulders, " Let’s not fight amongst ourselves. We’ve not got any time to waste. What has happened has happened. This is where we are now, let’s pull together and decide where we’re going to go. "

Device mumbled something under his breath and looked over speculatively to the right, " I reckon it’s best, " he began, " If we go..... "

" That way, " declared Linda, indicating to the left.

Device clearly did not appreciate being interrupted, " I thought you said you didn’t know this place, bitch! " he said with a scornful sneer.

" I’m going to hit you so damn hard in a minute, " roared Linda, " That you’ll wish you stayed in stupid Africa! " and then she added, " Like as if you were ever there in the first place, you liar! "

" Just who the hell do you think you are? " hissed Device.

" Someone who’s going to teach you the biggest lesson you’ll ever learn! "

" Oh I’m so scared, " said Device acerbically, and looking at Dave he said, " We’d better do what the slapper says then! "

Dave knew he had better quickly get everyone moving before his two companions tore each other apart, " Fine, so we’ll go left then, " he said, steering Linda away from Device by the hand, " Let’s get going. I’ll lead he way. "

The pipe was not big enough to stand up in, so they had to crawl on their hands and knees. Dave was thankful he had got the gloves. The three of them inched along in single file, with Dave at the front and Device at the rear. To Dave’s great relief, nobody spoke for about an hour. As they crept further on, a distant sound of dripping water could be heard, and the sides of the walls began to glisten with tiny, melting droplets.

Dave found himself sweating, " I’m starting to feel really hot now, " he huffed. He stopped a moment and pulled off his balaklava. Device did the same. As they did so a cockroach appeared from out of nowhere and scurried through them in the same direction they were heading.

Linda jumped out of its way, " Ugh! " she yelped, " I hate cockroaches! I’m certainly not taking my balaklava off! "

" Didn’t it make you feel at home? " said Device, " Since you’re not much more than a roach yourself! "

" I really think you need to grow up! " responded Linda.

" I really think you’re a brainless bimbo! " said Device with a smile.

" I swear I’m going to kill you and I’m going to enjoy every second of it! " warned Linda.

Device sniggered, and said, " Get stuffed you fat arsed bag! "

" Right, that does it! " screamed Linda, and she swung around like an alligator and punched Device on the chin, knocking him sideways.

Device grimaced and raised his fist, " You’re going to pay for that! " he said menacingly.

Dave had had enough, " For Christ’s sake! " he bellowed, tugging Linda away, " I don’t need this, you two are supposed to be helping me find my ten year old boy! "

All went silent and solemn. Linda and Device sat facing away from each other. Nobody moved a muscle. Several minutes passed, then something drifted to Dave’s attention. He angled his head and sniffed at the air, " Can you smell burning? " he asked.

Device breathed in deep through his nose, " You’re right, " he agreed, sliding forwards, " Stay quiet. I’ll go to the front. You follow me. "

They set off again. As they crawled further, the smell became fiercer and there was water dripping down the sides making wet, little puddles on the floor, that soon turned into a small stream. Finally, after a half-hour trek, they arrived at a ninety degree bend, where Device put his hand in the air and halted, " We’ve reached the end. Just come and look at this! " he whispered excitedly.

Dave squeezed round the corner and crouched next to him, feeling a blast of hot air in his face, " Holy Jesus! " he exclaimed in awe.

" Shhhhh. We don’t want to be heard! " said Device quietly.

" Sorry, " said Dave, " I just can’t believe this! "

" Let me see! " said Linda, tapping Dave on the back.

The pipe went no further. They were now perched on its edge and were staring into a monumental, white, sparkling, square arena, which rose above them almost as far as it plummeted beneath, and was warmed with ghostly, smoky air and swirling, burning debris. The stream of melted ice was pouring out of the pipe like a mini waterfall, " It’s like an underground mountain valley! " gasped Dave.

" There’s your fire, " said Device, pointing down to a large, crackling, orange haze almost immediately below them.

" I wonder who made it? I can’t see anybody about? " said Dave.

" They can’t be far away, " answered Device, " It’s still burning strong. "

" I can’t see a camp or any food or anything? " wondered Dave.

Linda knelt just behind the two men, peering over their shoulders, and staring down the vertical face of the daunting wall they were poking out from, " How on earth are we going to get down there? " she asked, " We must be at least a hundred metres above the ground? "

" And we haven’t got the rope or anything? " Dave added.

" I don’t know, " said Device.

" Why don’t we just call out for help? " said Linda.

" Don’t be mental! " hissed Device with disgust filled eyes.

" All right, well you’re the big explorer, so why don’t you just climb down it, Superman? " replied Linda.

" You’re even thicker than I thought, " said Device angrily.

" And you are a complete tosser! " Linda yelled, and the words reverberated all around.

Dave rolled his eyes, " Well, if anybody is down there, they’ll certainly know we’re here now! " he said.

Device grinned at Linda, " Yeah, nice one moron! " he said caustically.

" Get stuffed! " resounded her screaming reply.

" Will you two for goodness sake pack it in and tell me instead how we’re going to get down this bloody wall? " appealed Dave.

" I don’t know yet! Let me think! " responded Device, leaning forward, looking over the edge.

" Think about this, darling, " Linda said with zeal, and like an uncoiling spring she shoved both her boots into Device’s back, sending him shrieking into the air.

" No! " cried Dave in disbelief, but it was too late, and he could only watch helplessly as Device plunged in terror towards the ground a hundred metres down. Dave turned away, screwed his eyes shut, clenched his fists and bit his lips. Then his whole rigid body flinched at the gruesome sound of an exploding thud below, " Oh, Linda, " he uttered tearfully, " What have you done? "

" I helped him find a way down! " she replied triumphantly.