Gods Diet

[Guest guest]

God's Diet

 

And God populated the earth with broccoli and

cauliflower and spinach and

green and yellow vegetables of all kinds,

so Man and Woman would live long

and healthy lives.

 

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's

brought forth the 99-cent

double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man,

" You want fries with that? "

And Man said, " Super size them. " And Man gained

pounds.

 

And God created the healthful yogurt,

that woman might keep

her figure that man found so fair.

 

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought

forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored

sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.

And woman gained pounds.

 

And God said, " Try my crispy fresh salad. "

 

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings,

bacon bits, and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman

gained pounds.

 

And God said, " I have sent your heart healthy

vegetables and olive oil

with which to cook them. "

 

And Satan brought forth

chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big

it needed its own

platter. And Man gained pounds, and his

bad Cholesterol went

through the roof.

 

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man

resolved to lose those extra pounds.

 

And Satan brought forth cable TV

with remote control so Man would not

have to toil to change channels between

ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained

pounds.

 

And God said, " You're running

up the score, Devil. " And God brought

forth the potato, a vegetable

naturally low in fat and brimming with

nutrition.

 

And Satan peeled off the

healthful skin and sliced the starchy center

into chips and deep-fat fried

them.. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote

control and ate the potato chips swaddled in

cholesterol. And Satan saw and

said, " It is good. "

 

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

 

And God sighed and created

quadruple bypass surgery.....

 

And Satan created

 

HMOs

 

(Author unknown to me)