tastes like horrid mutated 60' chicken from the bad side of the tracks..

[Guest guest]

Tastes Like (Mutant) Chicken

The great McDonald's diet test, and why Ukrainians won't touch your

buffalo wings

 

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Friday, January 30, 2004

 

So then from way, way over there in Ukraine comes this hilarious

bit about how the country's customs officials just confiscated a

whopping 19 tons of frozen U.S. chicken parts that smugglers claimed

was sugar.

 

That's right: The crooks were trying to smuggle American-grown

chicken into Ukraine territory, which is all well and good except

it's very illegal, given how the U.S. genetically modifies billions

of its chickens and injects them with hormones and chemicals and

toxins and feeds them ground-up chicken parts mixed with chicken

feces and saws off their beaks and packs them by the tens of

thousands into tiny nauseating disease-ridden cages in

massive " Matrix " -like hellhole factory farms and treats them worse

than you treat a skin boil.

 

Ukraine refuses to take this crap. U.S. officials insist our factory-

farmed chicken is safe to eat. Ukrainian officials look at U.S.

officials like they are childish Neanderthal idiots who must take

the Ukrainian officials to be simpletons and fools.

 

U.S. officials sneer and pout and stamp their feet and say eat our

stupid noxious chicken parts goddammit. Ukrainian officials note how

most of the U.S. officials are pale and sickly and obese and

diabetic and precancerous and impotent and prematurely balding and

sort of homely and piggish, and how seven of them just dropped dead

on the spot from heart attacks just from stomping their angry little

feet like that because they've eaten so many toxic chicken parts and

now their bodies are saying, you know, screw you, I'm outta here.

 

America, of course, does not give a damn about Ukraine. America

laughs at such petty Euro foolishness, as we slaughter billions of

toxic hormoned chickens a year and happily munch away on

fried/liquefied/reconstituted/McNuggeted garbage food by the ton and

say see? See Ukrainian snob fools? We aren't dropping dead! We are

just fine! Ha! We are still big strong superpower, cough cough groan

hack spit!

 

Except that we're not. Except that every day millions in this

country wonder why they feel so sluggish and drained and ill, or why

cancer and diabetes and heart disease and a thousand other ailments

plague our big healthy superpower nation, when in fact much of the

answer is right there, in our little Styrofoam boxes and in that

greasy paper bucket or in that Safeway grocery bag or wrapped in

that oily paper with all the little taco logos all over it. Our

nation wears its denial like a bad neon suit.

 

Here is another angle. There is this new movie. A documentary

called " Super Size Me. " It appears to be part comedy, part tragedy,

all horrific. One young filmmaker, Morgan Spurlock, becomes a fast-

food guinea pig, deciding to eat only McDonald's food three times a

day -- breakfast, lunch and dinner -- for one solid month, and

record the effects.

 

Maybe you can guess what happens. Except it's far worse than you

might imagine.

 

Spurlock's body, in short, disintegrates. Within a few days of

starting the McDiet, he is vomiting out the car window. He not only

adds 25 pounds of flab to his formerly healthy 6-foot-2-inch, 185-

pound frame, but his skin turns blotchy and pale, he becomes weak

and tired, his body begins to revolt.

 

Even more disturbing, his liver becomes highly toxic, his

cholesterol skyrockets from 165 to 230, his libido drops and he

suffers headaches and depression and the general disgust and

nontitillation of his girlfriend.

 

Spurlock's body simply could not process all the toxins, all the

hormones and binding agents and chemical fillers and reconstituted

meats and insect parts and miscellaneous organs and slaughterhouse

by-products, all the inorganic substances and fake scents

and " natural " flavorings that are actually 100 percent synthetic and

manufactured in New Jersey.

 

Maybe Ukraine -- and much of civilized, non-GMO Europe -- is on to

something. Maybe they already understand what Spurlock's movie makes

even more obvious and what we as a nation still insist on denying in

favor of blindly ingesting more highly processed foods and greasy

cholesterol bombs that we don't have to cook or think about or

consider the consequences of until it's too late: that we are, in

fact, poisoning ourselves to death.

 

We consume, by the truckload, what most of civilized Europe

considers toxic contraband, on a par with heroin or kiddie porn or

Lynne Cheney. We consider ourselves omnipotent and untouchable and

the world's paragon of virile capitalist vitality, when in fact the

world sees us as this giant flaccid flabby glutton who blindly

believes everything the McDonald's marketing slogans spits our way.

I'm lovin' it!

 

We hear what we want to hear. The nastiest and most powerful and

most flagrant abusers of impotent FDA regulation, such as Monsanto

and ConAgra and Iowa Beef Packers, will grin sinisterly and tell you

it's all fine and there's nothing wrong with genetic engineering and

hormones and radiated meats, even as they quietly recall another 10

million tons of E. coli-laden beef and pick their teeth with the

bones of your sick children.

 

Irony bonus round: Ukraine, by comparison to America, suffers from a

huge array of social woes, economic and environmental and social. It

is unstable and somewhat desperate, still recovering from the

Chernobyl reactor meltdown and from dissing angry Mother Russia a

decade back and trying to go it alone.

 

They are a nation in turmoil. They are developing and recovering and

little like the bright and powerful USA. And, yet, even Ukraine

won't eat our damn chicken. Gosh, we say, what the hell is wrong

with them?

 

Gosh, we should be saying, what the hell is wrong with us?

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Fuck yeah, this article ROCKS!

 

Of course, dumbest of all are the people who read " Fast Food Nation "

and still eat this dreck! I mean, did they say, " Yeah, this is

awful, but I can't live without my CrackDonalds, my Murder King, my

Wendisease, my Taco Hell, etc. " ?

 

Danielle

 

 

vegan-network , EBbrewpunx@c... wrote:

> Tastes Like (Mutant) Chicken

> The great McDonald's diet test, and why Ukrainians won't touch your

> buffalo wings

>

> By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

> Friday, January 30, 2004

>

> So then from way, way over there in Ukraine comes this hilarious

> bit about how the country's customs officials just confiscated a

> whopping 19 tons of frozen U.S. chicken parts that smugglers

claimed

> was sugar.

>

> That's right: The crooks were trying to smuggle American-grown

> chicken into Ukraine territory, which is all well and good except

> it's very illegal, given how the U.S. genetically modifies billions

> of its chickens and injects them with hormones and chemicals and

> toxins and feeds them ground-up chicken parts mixed with chicken

> feces and saws off their beaks and packs them by the tens of

> thousands into tiny nauseating disease-ridden cages in

> massive " Matrix " -like hellhole factory farms and treats them worse

> than you treat a skin boil.

>

> Ukraine refuses to take this crap. U.S. officials insist our

factory-

> farmed chicken is safe to eat. Ukrainian officials look at U.S.

> officials like they are childish Neanderthal idiots who must take

> the Ukrainian officials to be simpletons and fools.

>

> U.S. officials sneer and pout and stamp their feet and say eat our

> stupid noxious chicken parts goddammit. Ukrainian officials note

how

> most of the U.S. officials are pale and sickly and obese and

> diabetic and precancerous and impotent and prematurely balding and

> sort of homely and piggish, and how seven of them just dropped dead

> on the spot from heart attacks just from stomping their angry

little

> feet like that because they've eaten so many toxic chicken parts

and

> now their bodies are saying, you know, screw you, I'm outta here.

>

> America, of course, does not give a damn about Ukraine. America

> laughs at such petty Euro foolishness, as we slaughter billions of

> toxic hormoned chickens a year and happily munch away on

> fried/liquefied/reconstituted/McNuggeted garbage food by the ton

and

> say see? See Ukrainian snob fools? We aren't dropping dead! We are

> just fine! Ha! We are still big strong superpower, cough cough

groan

> hack spit!

>

> Except that we're not. Except that every day millions in this

> country wonder why they feel so sluggish and drained and ill, or

why

> cancer and diabetes and heart disease and a thousand other ailments

> plague our big healthy superpower nation, when in fact much of the

> answer is right there, in our little Styrofoam boxes and in that

> greasy paper bucket or in that Safeway grocery bag or wrapped in

> that oily paper with all the little taco logos all over it. Our

> nation wears its denial like a bad neon suit.

>

> Here is another angle. There is this new movie. A documentary

> called " Super Size Me. " It appears to be part comedy, part tragedy,

> all horrific. One young filmmaker, Morgan Spurlock, becomes a fast-

> food guinea pig, deciding to eat only McDonald's food three times a

> day -- breakfast, lunch and dinner -- for one solid month, and

> record the effects.

>

> Maybe you can guess what happens. Except it's far worse than you

> might imagine.

>

> Spurlock's body, in short, disintegrates. Within a few days of

> starting the McDiet, he is vomiting out the car window. He not only

> adds 25 pounds of flab to his formerly healthy 6-foot-2-inch, 185-

> pound frame, but his skin turns blotchy and pale, he becomes weak

> and tired, his body begins to revolt.

>

> Even more disturbing, his liver becomes highly toxic, his

> cholesterol skyrockets from 165 to 230, his libido drops and he

> suffers headaches and depression and the general disgust and

> nontitillation of his girlfriend.

>

> Spurlock's body simply could not process all the toxins, all the

> hormones and binding agents and chemical fillers and reconstituted

> meats and insect parts and miscellaneous organs and slaughterhouse

> by-products, all the inorganic substances and fake scents

> and " natural " flavorings that are actually 100 percent synthetic

and

> manufactured in New Jersey.

>

> Maybe Ukraine -- and much of civilized, non-GMO Europe -- is on to

> something. Maybe they already understand what Spurlock's movie

makes

> even more obvious and what we as a nation still insist on denying

in

> favor of blindly ingesting more highly processed foods and greasy

> cholesterol bombs that we don't have to cook or think about or

> consider the consequences of until it's too late: that we are, in

> fact, poisoning ourselves to death.

>

> We consume, by the truckload, what most of civilized Europe

> considers toxic contraband, on a par with heroin or kiddie porn or

> Lynne Cheney. We consider ourselves omnipotent and untouchable and

> the world's paragon of virile capitalist vitality, when in fact the

> world sees us as this giant flaccid flabby glutton who blindly

> believes everything the McDonald's marketing slogans spits our way.

> I'm lovin' it!

>

> We hear what we want to hear. The nastiest and most powerful and

> most flagrant abusers of impotent FDA regulation, such as Monsanto

> and ConAgra and Iowa Beef Packers, will grin sinisterly and tell

you

> it's all fine and there's nothing wrong with genetic engineering

and

> hormones and radiated meats, even as they quietly recall another 10

> million tons of E. coli-laden beef and pick their teeth with the

> bones of your sick children.

>

> Irony bonus round: Ukraine, by comparison to America, suffers from

a

> huge array of social woes, economic and environmental and social.

It

> is unstable and somewhat desperate, still recovering from the

> Chernobyl reactor meltdown and from dissing angry Mother Russia a

> decade back and trying to go it alone.

>

> They are a nation in turmoil. They are developing and recovering

and

> little like the bright and powerful USA. And, yet, even Ukraine

> won't eat our damn chicken. Gosh, we say, what the hell is wrong

> with them?

>

> Gosh, we should be saying, what the hell is wrong with us?

>

>

>