OT: Women -- Are You Missing Anything?

[Guest guest]

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys

were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the

kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening

every day.

 

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.

It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with

someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked

oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had

been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to

mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally,

hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and

Sheer Energy pantyhose.

 

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My

butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains

to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three

inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with

earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump.

Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

 

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One

morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated

as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of

the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being

replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

 

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,

unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked

repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-

shirts. What could they do to me next? My poor neck disappeared

more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

 

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical

profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the

coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.

You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face " lifted, " look

again. Was it lifted from you?

 

I think I finally found my thighs ... and I hope that Cindy Crawford

paid a really good price for them!

 

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every

night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

 

 

 

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my

breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out

of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my

armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.