Qanta's Pilot Gripe Sheet

[Guest guest]

This list has got to be the best one I have had the plesure of

belonging to. I enjoy all the posts and the information. I just wish

I could partake of the weekday night chats.(Bummer, I work 2nds)

I love the stories with all the humor. I come home an just have a

laugh at all the jokes. I have one for you to enjoy too! This was

given to me by a friend who happens to be a Elementary School Head

Custodian,(seems they tell quite a few of these on the computer.)

Hope you enjoy this one. I don't have very many funnies but I thought

you'd like this one.

Cathy L.

 

 

by: Virginia Chisum, Vice Pesident for Business affairs Odessa

College,TX

 

Qanta's Pilot Gripe Sheet

 

After every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a " gripe

sheet " which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,

and then the pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

 

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by

Qantas' pilots

(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by

maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline

that

has never had an accident.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Evidence of a leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

 

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

[Guest guest]

Very Cute Cathy...lol

 

Carol