OT: Twelve New Rules of Conduct for Americans

[Guest guest]

Homeland Security Rules of Conduct

Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel

 

Dear Civilians, " We know that the current state of affairs in our great

nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.

For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a

few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

 

(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the

playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.

 

(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in

protest---kick their ass.

 

(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest

amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,

quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the

very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many

sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them

down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

 

(4) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.

Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU), telling others that you used to be

" Special Forces, " and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been

okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look

stupid and get your ass kicked.

 

(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, " Do

you fly a jet? " Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such

ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

 

(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military',

inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.

 

(7) Next time Old Glory prances by during a parade, get on your feet and

pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank

the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her---of

course, failure to do either could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

 

(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.

We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party

affiliation. Our Chain of Command begins with our Commander-In-Chief.

The President .. for those who didn't know, is our C in C regardless of

political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those

big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we

know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation,

they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking

us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

 

(9) 'Yo Mama wears combat boots' never did made sense to me---so stop

saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore,

could kick your ass!

 

(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's

go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls

are not standard issue items in the military. That reminds me---if you

see anyone calling those psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go

kick their ass.

 

(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid'

(Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment

we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet,

you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.

 

(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the

military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving,

Christmas or any other holiday that you enjoy with family and friends,

please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops

far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for

our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our

country would get its ass kicked. "

 

It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the

press.

 

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

 

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to

demonstrate.

 

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and

whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the

flag.

 

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

 

If you are reading it in English, thank a veteran.

 

Please pass this on so I won't have to kick your ass! ;-)