Guest guest Posted March 26, 2005 Report Share Posted March 26, 2005 Ok, here is my favorite joke, pardon the adult humor. A man walks into a bar in Austrailia. An ostrich and a cat follow him. He sits at a table, the ostrich sits, the cat jumps up on the table. The bar tender scratches his head at the man's strange traveling companions and then asks, " What'll ya 'ave, mate? The man says, I'll 'ave me a pint of ale. He turns to the ostrich and says, I suppose you'll be wantin' one too. The ostrich says, Yes, I'll 'ave me a pint of ale. He turns to the cat and says, I suppose you'll be wantin' one too. The cat says, Yes, I " ll 'ave me a 'alf pint, but I ain't fokkin' payin'. The bartender says, That'll be $5.25, mate. The man reaches into his pocket, searches around a bit, and pulls out exactly $5.25. The bartender counts it, shakes his head, and gets the drinks. This continues all night, they always order the same thing, and the man always had the exact amount. This goes on for a few weeks. One night the trio comes in late. The man sits at a table, the ostrich sits, the cat jumps up on the table. The bar tender says, " It's almost closin, what'll ya 'ave, mate? The man says, I'll 'ave me a double scotch. He turns to the ostrich and says, I suppose you'll be wantin' one too. The ostrich says, Yes, I'll 'ave me a double scotch. He turns to the cat and says, I suppose you'll be wantin' one too. The cat says, Yes, I " ll 'ave me a single scotch, but I ain't fokkin payin. The bartender says, That'll be $7.75, mate. The man reaches into his pocket, searches around a bit, and pulls out exactly $7.75. The bartender, says, ok, how do you do that, mate? Everytime you have the exact change. The man says, Well, the other day me aunt died. I was cleaning out her attic and came across a bottle, I rubbed it and a genie came out and granted me two wishes. So I thought real long and hard about it, what would be the smartest thing I could ask for, and then I wished that anytime I needed money I could reach into my pocket and 'ave the exact amount. The bartender said, Wow, that is genius! Most people would 'ave asked for a milliom bucks or a pot of gold which would run out, but YOU! No matter what you want, a drink, a house, a car, you just reach into your pocket and there the money is! Incredible, mate! So he went and got the drinks, put them on the table and was about to leave, when he remembered and said, Wait, you said two wishes, what was the second wish? The man hid his face in his hands. The bartender said, come one, what was the second wish? The man motioned to the bartender to come closer then whispered in his ear, It was the dumbest wish! I wished for a chic with long legs and a tight pussy. -- Version: 7.0.308 / Virus Database: 266.8.2 - Release 3/25/2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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