O/T Joke : How to avoid housekeeping

[Guest guest]

How To Avoid Housekeeping

Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the

area under the couch " The Galapagos Islands " and claim an ecological

exemption.

 

In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread

magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng

Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your

eyes when you say this.

 

If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room

and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home,

rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, " Sorry, this old

door is stuck again "

 

Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with

an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say,

" Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...I haven't

had the heart to clean it... "

 

Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of

water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in

conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto

the couch, and sigh, " I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..

 

Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb,

thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that

the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim,

" What? And spoil the mood? "

 

Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by

claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play

animals for underprivileged children.