OT joke

[Guest guest]

This one came from the newsletter of a friend of mine. The link is here:

 

http://www.answersforyourhealth.com/newsletters.html

 

Warning: nudity and coarse language

 

Laugh a Little - It is good for your Health

 

 

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Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my

excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth

was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head

injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.!

 

By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top

of my head.

 

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt

a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

 

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife,

Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

 

" Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it. "

 

" You know where the button is, " I protested through the shower pitter-patter and

steam. " Reset it yourself! "

 

" But I'm scared! " she persisted. " What if it starts going and sucks me in? "

 

There was a meaningful pause and then, " C'mon, it'll only take you a second. "

 

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged

nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely

cowardly.

 

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the

button. It is the last action I remember performing.

 

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it

wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our

new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging

between my legs.

 

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the

sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the

toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

 

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising

at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my

masculine region.

 

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a " fight or flight " syndrome. Men, in this

predicament, choose only the " flight " option. I know this from experience. I was

fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and

forcefully impeded my ascent.

 

The impact knocked me out cold.

 

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

 

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on

the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of " been-there, done-that "

paramedics.

 

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all

snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to

suppress their hysterical laughter.... ...and not succeeding.

 

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to

the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my

head injury.

 

I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. " What's

the matter? " They all asked, " Cat got your tongue? " If they only knew!

 

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

 

Ien in the Kootenays

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You ought to be Thankful,

a Whole Heaping Lot

for the places and people

you're lucky you're not!

~Dr Seuss

who is this Kootenay person anyway?

http://www.greatestnetworker.com/is/ien

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