O/T Joke: Top Morons of 2004

[Guest guest]

The TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004

 

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT & T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked

intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. [Perhaps

it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence!]

 

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who

had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,

officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line,

shouting, " Please come out and give yourself up. "

 

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a Motorist and forced him

to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper

proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

 

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the

cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk

and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and

grabbed him.

 

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't

control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up

to repeat the words: " Give me all your money or I'll shoot, " the man shouted,

" that's not what I said! "

 

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, " My wife is pregnant and her

contractions are only two minutes apart! " " Is this her first child? " the doctor

asked. " No! " the man shouted, " This is her husband! [And this guy's gonna be

part of shaping our future!!!]

 

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a

Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to

simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

[Helloooooooooo!]

 

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of

Bakersfield, Cal. some folks, new to boating, were, having a problem. No matter

how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was

very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina,

thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough top side check

revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out

drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So,

one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up

choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER, THIS IS TRUE

............ Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

[Where's the vehicle that was pulling the trailer???]