Jump to content
IndiaDivine.org

O/T Joke 33 Things

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences, she thought she was God

and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.

4. Some people are alive because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

6. Don't take life to seriously, No one gets out alive.

7. Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

11. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

12. Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.

13. Nyquil the stuffy, sneezy, why the heck is the room spinning medicine.

14. God must love stupid people; he make so many.

15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

16. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

17. Consciousness that annoying time between naps

18. Ever stop to think, and forgot to start again.

19. MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by the 3 Mile Island clean-up crew.

20. Being " over the hill " is better than being under it.

21. Wrinkled was not one of those things I wanted to be when I grew up.

22. Procrastinate Now!

23. MY dog can lick anyone.

24. I have a degree in Liberal Arts' do you want fries with that?

25. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION; it comes bundled with software.

26. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

27. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a cash advance.

28. STUPIDITY IS NOT AHANDICAP; Park elseware.

29. They call it PMS because mad cow disease was already taken.

30. He who dies with the most toys is never the less dead.

31. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORD; but takes up three times as much

memory on your computer.

32. HAM AND EGGS; a days work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

33. The trouble with life is that there's no background music.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I joined a dating site, here in Canada, and am talking to a nice lawyer in

Mass..lol... Go figure... anyway, the site has a joke forum and thats where

I get them...

 

> Carol,

 

> Where do you find them?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...