O/T Joke Night Out Permission Slips

[Guest guest]

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

 

 

 

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:

 

 

 

I'm going out.

 

 

 

Signed: (me) _____________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

 

 

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

 

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my

life for the following period:

 

 

 

 

 

Time of return

 

Time of departure: NOT to exceed:

 

 

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations

stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or

flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as

expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my cell after two

pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first

phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol

allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my

girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following

week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total

 

 

 

 

 

Locations to be visited

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Females with whom conversation

 

is permitted

 

 

 

IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not with standing the female contact permitted

above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a

stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds

for immediate termination of the relationship.

 

 

 

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our

relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules &

regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates

& flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you

wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree,

should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a

fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said

entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the

toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath

in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

 

 

 

 

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to

my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

 

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

 

 

 

 

Request is: APPROVED DENIED

 

 

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and

carry at all times.

 

" .........................................

 

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period

of time:

 

 

 

 

 

Time of departure: Time of return:

 

 

 

 

 

Signed - Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: