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O/T Joys of the english language

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This hit a button...:)

When I learned English as a kid in Germany, I always got side tracked by

the exceptions of the exceptions..still do.

Teachers said that I would never learn English, they where right..

where - were

right- write..

There- their..

One of the culture shocks when I came to this country was to see signs

like Kwik-Klean, Kountry Kitchen..I thought this must be a new form of

English I had not learned in school..

C-M

 

 

 

 

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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

 

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

 

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

 

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

 

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

 

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the

plural of cat is cats, not cose.

 

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother, we never say methren.

 

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

 

Let's face it,

English is a crazy language.

 

There is no egg in eggplant,

nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

 

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes,

we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is

neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.

 

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

 

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,

but not one amend?

 

If you have a bunch of odds and ends

and get rid of all but one of them,

what do you call it?

 

If teachers taught,

why didn't preachers praught?

 

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what does a humanitarian eat?

 

You have a garage sale but only sell what's in it

and around it but not the garage.

 

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking

English

should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

 

In what other language do people recite at a play

and play at a recital?

 

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

 

Park on a Driveway, Drive on a Parkway

 

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

 

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in

which

your house can burn up as it burns down;

in which you fill in a form by filling it out

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

~Author Unknown~

 

 

 

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The plural of spouse is of course spice.

 

The classical example by George Bernard Shaw on

English spelling goes like this:

 

How do you pronounce this word:

 

GHOTI

 

It is FISH.

 

The gh of laughing

The o of women

the ti of nation.

 

Ien in the Kootenays

***************************

Good planets are hard to find.

Let's look after this one!

One way to sustainable activism

http://theforestpath.com

***************************

 

 

 

 

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Keep them coming Carol.

 

The plural of spouse is of course spice.

 

Did you all know the illustration George Bernhard Shaw made up about this:

 

GHOTI = FISH

 

The GH of lauGHing

the O of wOmen

the SH of naTIon

 

Ien in the Kootenays

*******************************

Stop. Breathe. Smile!

~Padma ( my TV yoga teacher)

See my smiling face:

http://www.greatestnetworker.com/is/ien

*******************************

 

 

 

 

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