OT - Joke The Month After New Year's

[Guest guest]

I thought this fit a lot of us

 

 

T'was the month after New Year's,

And all through the house

Nothing would fit me,

Not even a blouse.

 

The cookies I'd nibbled,

The eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties

Had gone to my waist.

 

When I got on the scales

There arose such a number!

Then I walked to the store

(Less a walk than a lumber).

 

I'd remember the marvelous

Meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces

And beef nicely rared,

 

The wine and the rum balls,

The bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said,

" No thank you, please. "

 

As I dressed myself

In my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again

To do battle with dirt---

 

I said to myself,

As I only can

" You can't spend a winter

Disguised as a man! "

 

So--away with the last

Of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruitcake,

Every cracker and chip.

 

Every last bit of food

That I like must be banished

'Till all the additional

Ounces have vanished.

 

I won't have a cookie--

Not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew

On a long celery stick.

 

I won't have hot biscuits,

Or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot

And quietly cry.

 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,

And life is a bore---

But isn't that

What January's for?

 

Unable to giggle,

No longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all

And to all a good diet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I thought this fit a lot of us

 

 

T'was the month after New Year's,

And all through the house

Nothing would fit me,

Not even a blouse.

 

The cookies I'd nibbled,

The eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties

Had gone to my waist.

 

When I got on the scales

There arose such a number!

Then I walked to the store

(Less a walk than a lumber).

 

I'd remember the marvelous

Meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces

And beef nicely rared,

 

The wine and the rum balls,

The bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said,

" No thank you, please. "

 

As I dressed myself

In my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again

To do battle with dirt---

 

I said to myself,

As I only can

" You can't spend a winter

Disguised as a man! "

 

So--away with the last

Of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruitcake,

Every cracker and chip.

 

Every last bit of food

That I like must be banished

'Till all the additional

Ounces have vanished.

 

I won't have a cookie--

Not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew

On a long celery stick.

 

I won't have hot biscuits,

Or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot

And quietly cry.

 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,

And life is a bore---

But isn't that

What January's for?

 

Unable to giggle,

No longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all

And to all a good diet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I thought this fit a lot of us

 

 

T'was the month after New Year's,

And all through the house

Nothing would fit me,

Not even a blouse.

 

The cookies I'd nibbled,

The eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties

Had gone to my waist.

 

When I got on the scales

There arose such a number!

Then I walked to the store

(Less a walk than a lumber).

 

I'd remember the marvelous

Meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces

And beef nicely rared,

 

The wine and the rum balls,

The bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said,

" No thank you, please. "

 

As I dressed myself

In my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again

To do battle with dirt---

 

I said to myself,

As I only can

" You can't spend a winter

Disguised as a man! "

 

So--away with the last

Of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruitcake,

Every cracker and chip.

 

Every last bit of food

That I like must be banished

'Till all the additional

Ounces have vanished.

 

I won't have a cookie--

Not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew

On a long celery stick.

 

I won't have hot biscuits,

Or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot

And quietly cry.

 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,

And life is a bore---

But isn't that

What January's for?

 

Unable to giggle,

No longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all

And to all a good diet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I thought this fit a lot of us

 

 

T'was the month after New Year's,

And all through the house

Nothing would fit me,

Not even a blouse.

 

The cookies I'd nibbled,

The eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties

Had gone to my waist.

 

When I got on the scales

There arose such a number!

Then I walked to the store

(Less a walk than a lumber).

 

I'd remember the marvelous

Meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces

And beef nicely rared,

 

The wine and the rum balls,

The bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said,

" No thank you, please. "

 

As I dressed myself

In my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again

To do battle with dirt---

 

I said to myself,

As I only can

" You can't spend a winter

Disguised as a man! "

 

So--away with the last

Of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruitcake,

Every cracker and chip.

 

Every last bit of food

That I like must be banished

'Till all the additional

Ounces have vanished.

 

I won't have a cookie--

Not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew

On a long celery stick.

 

I won't have hot biscuits,

Or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot

And quietly cry.

 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,

And life is a bore---

But isn't that

What January's for?

 

Unable to giggle,

No longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all

And to all a good diet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sorry for the repeat!!

 

, " Buffywonder "

<buffywonder@c...> wrote:

>

>

I thought this fit a lot of us

>

>

> T'was the month after New Year's,

> And all through the house

> Nothing would fit me,

> Not even a blouse.

>

> The cookies I'd nibbled,

> The eggnog I'd taste

> At the holiday parties

> Had gone to my waist.

>

> When I got on the scales

> There arose such a number!

> Then I walked to the store

> (Less a walk than a lumber).

>

> I'd remember the marvelous

> Meals I'd prepared;

> The gravies and sauces

> And beef nicely rared,

>

> The wine and the rum balls,

> The bread and the cheese

> And the way I'd never said,

> " No thank you, please. "

>

> As I dressed myself

> In my husband's old shirt

> And prepared once again

> To do battle with dirt---

>

> I said to myself,

> As I only can

> " You can't spend a winter

> Disguised as a man! "

>

> So--away with the last

> Of the sour cream dip,

> Get rid of the fruitcake,

> Every cracker and chip.

>

> Every last bit of food

> That I like must be banished

> 'Till all the additional

> Ounces have vanished.

>

> I won't have a cookie--

> Not even a lick.

> I'll want only to chew

> On a long celery stick.

>

> I won't have hot biscuits,

> Or corn bread, or pie,

> I'll munch on a carrot

> And quietly cry.

>

> I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,

> And life is a bore---

> But isn't that

> What January's for?

>

> Unable to giggle,

> No longer a riot.

> Happy New Year to all

> And to all a good diet!

>