O/T joke Hallmark Cards you will never see

January 5, 2005

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love, and now that

you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never

believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am... (Inside card) - That you're

not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... (Inside card) - Will

you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... (Inside card) - Almost

lifelike!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now

we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time . .. (Inside card) - What do you

say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you .. . .... (Inside card) - It's almost like

you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy . . (Inside card) - Did you ever

find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was

only one life jacket . .... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of

you often.

12. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but

wonder... (Inside card) - What was I thinking?

13. Congratulations on your wedding day! . . (Inside card) - Too bad no one

likes your husband.

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