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Due to the increase in products liability litigation, American liquor

manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following

warning labels be placed immediately on all alcohol containers:

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell

happened to your bra and panties.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when

you are not.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and

over again that you love them.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are

really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse

with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug

burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,

smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing

WITH you.

 

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

 

WARNING:

the crumsumpten of alcahol maou tink you can tipe real gode.

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