Your Post ?? ** Preservatives/Styrax benzoin-to jane

[Guest guest]

Hey Butch!

 

How are you? treating you alright?

 

I know you like to know EXACTLY what it is that a person is referring to when a

comment like mine is made so I know you are not going to like this answer

because I can only put it in terms of reminding folks what you reminded them to

do if they see a post that makes them want to respond quick. We need to

remember that no matter how you write something someone might take it the wrong

way. By the same token this is a friendly list and therefore I believe a person

writing a response has the responsibility of reviewing a post a little more

before they hit send. No we don't have any control over how someone will

ultimately take our posts but as I said considering how often we - and that

includes all of the old timers - keep saying this is a friendly list I think

that puts the onus on the poster and the responsibility of the one being

responded to is to give folks a little slack until they get to know them really

well.

 

So even though I know you well enough from this list to know that your 'no

frill' responses on AT are coming from a good and intelligent place I also know

that a no frill response is just that. I'm not telling you you're a bad person,

not even telling you to change who you are as a person so don't take this that

way at all especially because you wouldn't ever change anything about you unless

you wanted to and that's the way it should be for people. It's not about being

politically correct or that sort of vein. It goes back to how often we keep

saying this is a friendly list - we then need to be more considerate when we

post.

 

I don't think I'm very far off the mark on my perception considering that I

realized from the posts prior to Jane's on the same subject line that there was

just 'something' in the posts that would be taken the wrong way.

 

I'm sure I'm explaining my own way of reaching these conclusions badly other

than to say that it's an intuitive thing and judging from the post that Jane

last wrote I would have to say that intuition was right. It's not just about

how the other person perceives what we say/did. It's about how we perceive

ourselves and then putting the two together.

 

Not that you're a warring person but that's what it reminds me of: war is

usually about neither party wanting to concede that any perception by the other

party about themselves just might have a little bit of truth to it. There's a

whole lot of " Well, but, if, etc.'

 

Last, this isn't just about you alone. It's about a few other posts I've seen -

heck I even went back once and reread a post of mine and thought it might have

come across badly to some folks. Now I actually posted a sorry if I did w/o

even saying which post it was specifically. That's just me...darn sort of

Catholic....always feeling guilty about something.

 

I am only taking this thread in particular because it was among the most recent

and that contrary to men's perception of women, not all women keep a long

history of every mistake a person has ever made.

 

Dale

 

-

 

> Such obvious clues to what I believe I will find as I read further.

 

I have no idea what the above sentence means.

 

> Butch, I really hope that you were the kind person that I've grown

> accustomed to seeing.

 

I have no idea what the above sentence means and I don't want to make

any assumptions if I can avoid it .. so I don't know how to answer it ..

though I think it probably needs to be answered .. so please tell me

what you are trying to say.

 

> I will admit, speaking to you as a friend, that I did see one or two

> replies from you that came back a little unlike you.

 

I have no idea what you are referring to .. please be more specific.

 

> If I'm guessing right, well you all see my replies here first!!

 

I have no idea what the above sentence means. ;-)

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Dale,

 

(snipped a bunch)

 

> Jane, I hope - before I read the next post where I see your name - that

> you did not take Martin's post here the wrong way. He comes across very

> blunt sometimes and he knows that about himself. I know from the course

> I am taking with him. He is also very protective and caring of his students

> and how they will take care of others. It takes tremendous foresight and

> perseverance to use that as your guide.

 

The above I understand.

 

> Butch, I see that you posted right after Jane.

 

That is true.

 

> Such obvious clues to what I believe I will find as I read further.

 

I have no idea what the above sentence means.

 

> Butch, I really hope that you were the kind person that I've grown

> accustomed to seeing.

 

I have no idea what the above sentence means and I don't want to make

any assumptions if I can avoid it .. so I don't know how to answer it ..

though I think it probably needs to be answered .. so please tell me

what you are trying to say.

 

> I will admit, speaking to you as a friend, that I did see one or two

> replies from you that came back a little unlike you.

 

I have no idea what you are referring to .. please be more specific.

 

> If I'm guessing right, well you all see my replies here first!!

 

I have no idea what the above sentence means. ;-)

 

> Dale

 

Y'all keep smiling. :-) Butch