OT: Heavenly Humor

[Guest guest]

Heavenly Humor

 

From a child's point of view:

 

A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers

passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where

he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear:

" Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five. "

 

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service,

his cousin asked him, " How many women can a man marry? "

" Sixteen, " the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he

had an answer so quickly. " How do you know that? " " Easy, "

the little boy said. " All you have to do is add it up,

4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. "

 

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy

suddenly announced to his mother, " Mom, I've decided to

become a minister when I grow up. " " That's okay with us,

but what made you decide that? " " Well, " said the little boy,

" I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it

will be more fun to stand up and tell, than to sit and listen. "

 

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a

church service: " And forgive us our trash passes, as we

forgive those who passed trash against us. "

 

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

" How do you know what to say? " he asked. " Why, God tells

me. " Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out? "

 

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged

on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and

whispered, " Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he

let us go? "

 

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little

Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally,

the boy replied, " That priest said he wanted us brought up in

a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys! "

 

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their

favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture,

which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him

what it was meant to represent. " The flight to Egypt, " said

Kyle. " I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby

Jesus, " Terri said. " But who's the fourth person? " " Oh,

that's Pontius - the Pilot.

 

The Sunday School Teacher asks, " Now, Johnny, tell me

frankly, do you say prayers before eating? " " No sir, " little

Johnny replies, " I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook. "

 

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, " After a worship service at First

Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a

fidgety seven year old boy told me how she finally got her son

to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon,

she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor

Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his

sermon all over again!' It worked. "

 

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her

a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes

off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She

was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

 

" Did God make you? " " Yes, sweetheart, " he answered,

" God made me a long time ago. " She paused, " Grandpa, did

God make me too? " " God made you just a little while ago. "

 

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,

" God's getting better at it, isn't He? "