Humour - Buying for men - OT

[Guest guest]

This is true. I went to the zoo with my husband yesterday. There was some

temporary yellow nylon rope strung up and he goes-look at the great rope.

LOL It's gotta be a man's thing.

 

Green Blessings

Patty Corapi

 

In a message dated 12/15/2004 4:20:09 PM Eastern Standard Time,

vicki writes:

 

Rule #14

 

Rope.

Men love rope.

It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.

Nothing says " I love you "

like a hundred feet of 3/8 "

manila rope.

No one knows why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Ok, I hope this one hasn't been posted already since I'm still madly

catching up.

 

I got this from a friend in the UK and I think it's very timely.

 

Vicki

********************************

Are there men on your

Christmas shopping list?

Buying gifts for men isn't nearly as complicated as it is for women.

So don't worry. . .this timely list of rules will answer all your

gift-giving questions for the men on your list. :-)

 

Rule #1

When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill.

It does not matter if he already has one.

I have a friend who owns 17

and he has yet to complain.

As a man, you can never have

too many cordless drills.

No one knows why.

 

Rule #2

If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with

the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words.

" Hey, George, can I borrow your ratchet? "

" Okay. By the way, are you through with my 3/8 " socket yet? "

Again, no one knows why.

 

Rule #3

If you are really, really broke,

buy him anything for his car.

A 99-cent ic e scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to

hang from his rear view mirror.

Men love gifts for their cars.

No one knows why.

 

 

Rule #4

Do not buy men socks.

Do not buy men ties.

And never buy men bathrobes.

(I was told that if men were supposed to wear bathrobes,

jockey shorts would not have been invented.)

 

Rule #5

You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn

out. If you have a lot of money, buy the man on your list a big screen TV

with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as h e flips and

flips and flips.

Forget the program, your entertainment will be watching him have fun!

 

 

Rule #6

Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave

or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

 

Rule #7

Buy men label makers.

(Almost as good as a cordless drill.)

Within a couple of weeks,

there will be labels absolutely everywhere.

" Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers.

Door. Lock. Sink. "

You get the idea.

No one knows why.

 

Rule #8

Never buy a man anything and then tell him he should read the

instructions because the box says " some assembly required " .

It will ruin his special day. He will always have parts left over.

 

Rule #9

Good places to shop for men include:

Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot,

John Deere, Valley RV Center and Les Schwab Tire.

(NAPA auto parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent

men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.

" From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't

this a starter for a '68 Ford Fai rlane? Wow! Thanks. " )

 

Rule #10

Men enjoy danger.

That's why they never cook - but they will

barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell

him the gas line leaks. " Oh the thrill! The challenge!

Who wants a hamburger? "

 

 

Rule #11

Tickets to a NY Giants game are a smart gift. However, he will

not appreciate tickets to " A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts. "

Everyone knows why.

 

Rule #12

Men love chain saws.

Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw.

If you don't know why, refer to Rule #7.

(Remember what happens when he gets a label maker?)

 

Rule #13

It's hard to beat a really

good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a

stepladder. It must be an extension ladder.

No one knows why.

 

Rule #14

 

Rope.

Men love rope.

It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.

Nothing says " I love you "

like a hundred feet of 3/8 "

manila rope.

No one knows why.