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Please be careful. This person has found her

way into my house and could also go to yours.

A very weird thing has happened. A strange old

lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she

is, where she came from, or how she got in. I

certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one

day she wasn't there, and the next day she was!

 

She is a clever old lady and manages to keep

out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass

a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I

look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she

is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating

my gorgeous face and body. This is very rude! I have

tried screaming at her, but she just screams back.

 

 

The least she could do is offer to pay part of

the rent, but no. Every once in a while, I find a

five pound note stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose

change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly

enough. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I

think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM

and withdraw £50, and a few days later, it's all

gone!

 

I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I

can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me.

You'd think she would spend some of that money to

buy wrinkle cream. And money isn't the only thing I

think she is stealing.

 

Food seems to disappear at an alarming

rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream,

cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet

tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is

really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realizes

this, and to make herself feel better, she is

tampering with my scale to make me think I am

putting on weight, too.

 

For an old lady, she is quite childish. She

likes to play nasty games, like going into my

closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so

they don't fit. And she messes with my files and

papers so I can't find anything. This is

particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and

organized.

 

She has found other imaginative ways to annoy

me. She gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines

before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it.

And she has done something really sinister to the

volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now,

all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She has done

other things-like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum

heavier and all the knob and faucets harder to turn.

She even made my bed higher so that getting into and

out of it is a real challenge.

Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries

before I put them away, applying glue to the lids,

making it almost impossible for me to open the jars.

She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes.

When I try something on, she stands in front of the

dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks

totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus,

she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.

 

Just when I thought she couldn't get any

meaner, she proved me wrong. She came along when I

went to get my picture taken for my driver's

license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she

jumped in front of me!

 

I hope she never finds out where YOU live

 

ok - this strange old lady's off to bed now!!!

way past her bedtime

Ann - Scotland

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