labor coping techniques Was: Natural Birth

October 14, 2004

Regarding the remainder of your question posed Chris - Labor coping

techniques.

Too often women do not realize that many caring doulas and midwives

have put time and effort into sharing with others what they have

found to work.

Birthing with women is special. Women share experiences. My dh

likes to say 'women talk alot.' LOL

There are many non-medicinal alternatives for coping with labor. The

further baby moves down the birth canal, the further along both

mother and baby are physically prepared to seperate the stronger the

contractions become, the harder the work. At some point nothing will

make the pain truly go away.

I previously mentioned that endorphins will kick in when mothers give

in to their labor. However, her birth supporters need to help the

endorphins kick in. Mothers can readily give in to the labor process

when they feel safe in their environment.

You must address physical, mental and emotional

relaxation...sometimes all three at the same time during labor. I

find that many people believe it's abnormal to hug, hold, cherish,

whisper sweet nothings, cry with a woman who is laboring. In a

hospital setting medical staff is trained to remove emotions from the

equation. They must in order to do their job...and believe me if

something is truly wrong you want them to be ready to do what it

takes to help the mother and baby.

However, that 'emergency' isn't likely to occur. Our attitudes must

be one of positive birth images: I don't expect anything wrong to

happen but I will be ready if something does go wrong. Parents need

to balance caution and faith. That could be deemed an emotional part

of relaxation.

Mentally, we need to be ready to go the distance. When an athlete is

on their last fumes but going for a win the whole world cheers them

on and admires their strength for continuing and winning. When a

laboring mother is working with all she has for those last moments,

when she is crying from exhaustion...we say she doesn't have to be a

martyr. Laboring mothers are a different kind of athlete. One of my

moms came back to class and told my new birthing clients that her

birth was her marathon and she expected everyone to support her to

the finish line, carry her over if necessary but she was going to

complete her marathon. That was her natural birth in a hospital

birth center, spontaneous and unmedicated. I had another mother

whose husband was away on business when she unexpectedly went into

labor early by about 4 weeks. She brought with her signs to put up

in her labor room: " I know this is hard work and I know that

sometimes I am going to cry and maybe scare you with how hard I am

working. Please, just hug me. " Her first nurse just pursed her lips

and walked out. That's fine - if you can't support her you shouldn't

be there. Thankfully, that nurse recognized her limitations and

switched clients (for that is what pregnant women are) with another

L & D nurse. The new nurse never did hug the laboring mother but at

least she smiled every time she came in and she came in quietly when

she did so as not to disturb us.

Learn what can help you cope with pain. You do it all the time. You

crunch your toes into the corner of that damn heavy antique dinosaur

of a dresser (can you tell I've done that a few times LOL) and you

find a way to cope with that pain. That is pain for pain. Labor

pain is different: it is pain with a purpose.

Women need people who believe in them and have faith in the process

of labor. Women need knowledge. Women need experienced natural

birth careproviders. Women need to share experiences to teach other

what helps and why (i.e. birth balls, waterbirth, etc.). The

wonderful techniques I know of that help women birth are many times

viewed as romanticizing birth or just something extravagant that

women do to have an interesting birth story. They are not - they are

truly valuable 'tools' for birthing. A waterbirth is beautiful when

you see it in pictures but it is also a very calming and peaceful way

to labor and for baby to enter this world slowly from the warmth and

liquid of the womb to the warm waters of earth and finally floating

up to the surface to a 'hello' as they meet...air.

I hope many of you on this list will not hesitate to share with other

pregnant women a hand of hope. Tell them...yes, you know it hurts

and maybe you or someone you know had a bad or scary experience but

also tell them that you know now that there are other women who have

found peaceful and joyful birth experiences. Please support each

other. Please help someone know that they can and should plan what

they can then be flexible for whatever their labor brings. Embrace

it with their hearts wide open.

Sorry to post so long a message again but I did feel the need to

split my answer into two messages and address each seperately.

Dale

October 14, 2004

Der Dale,

Thank you for sharing. This is an awesome email that I am going to

pass on to a midwife friend in Maine. I live in Texas. She will be so happy

to see your email because she talks the same way as you do about the

birthing process. I was allowed one very healthy, loving child to rear so I

do understand from where you are coming.

Have a great weekend! Keep up the great work!

Sincerely,

Rhavda Emison

Scents of Success <http://www.scentsofsuccess.com>

Texas Grown-American Made Rose Oil Products

Rose, Helichrysum, Melissa, Oak Moss & Other OIls

>

>Regarding the remainder of your question posed Chris - Labor coping

>techniques.

>

>Too often women do not realize that many caring doulas and midwives

>have put time and effort into sharing with others what they have

>found to work.

>

>Birthing with women is special. Women share experiences. My dh

>likes to say 'women talk alot.' LOL

>

October 14, 2004

I had my son last December and I can echo a lot this. During my pregnancy, I

was very depressed (I have manic-depression) and it was especially hard to be

joyful about this. My husband wasn't especially supportive because he was too

busy worrying about me (ladies, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about--I had

to end up comforting him!!). In any case, through the fog, I realized that I

needed some serious support if me and the little guy were going to come through

this okay (I've been blessed--I also have an autoimmune disease). I didn't want

to go back to the hospital I had before, so I switched doctors at the last

minute and went to a birthing center. The doctor and midwife were so

ultra-supportive it was incredible. When they asked me how I felt during

visits, they just listened to what I had to say. They didn't try to " fix " me or

offer recommendations that I could have thought of on my own. They suggested a

doula for me. I didn't have much funding, so they gave me a list of some that

were in the middle of getting their certification (i.e. volunteering!) and I got

the most wonderful, wonderful woman. She gave me books, called me twice a week,

gave me a back-up name in case of an emergency, and even set up to meet me at

home for the early stage of labor. I am telling you--I wouldn't have made it

through this birth without taking something without her. She knew when to talk

to me, when to shut up (when to tell my husband to back off and when to tell him

to step in--he meant well--he was there for the birth of our first two--but she

just " knew " what to do). She helped me to do things to help ease the pain that

I couldn't think of for myself. She had the FULLY STOCKED GOODY

BAG--YEAH-YEAH!! That was a big help--especially the water and honey sticks.

I especially needed this woman to get me through transition. I just wasn't

prepared for how it was going to feel. I had to have my labor 'enhanced' with

pitocin, though, because I just wasn't prepared to take care of another baby

after going through such an awful time with my illness--I wanted to hang on to

the 'almost maintenance free' stage of pregnancy.

Sometimes it takes another person to see that you can do what you think you

couldn't. I feel that childbirth is a deeply spiritual thing that is

trivialized way, way too much. Women rish their very lives on the line to bring

their child into the world. People may argue that in this country, we have

medical care and death from childbirth complications are rare. This is true,

but this still do and can happen. It is a profound thing--one person goes in

and another emerges.

Auden got here without meds and he amazed me with his behavior. He whimpered a

little bit, then started looking around with such alertness. He was so calm--it

just amazed me. With my first son, I had an epidural (which didn't work) and

vacuum extraction--he had to be recesutated and put on O2. With my daughter, I

had a shot of demerol. I was so out of it that I didn't even realize that I was

pushing her out until the doctor just happened to check me and her head was

crowning!! She was born early, too (and hollered the whole time in the

hospital--we left after 24 hours).

I know people say, " would you have your tooth yanked out without pain-killers'?

Probably not, but that's something pathological if a tooth needs to come out.

Nobody gives a marathon runner or a weight lifter when they are making their

final haul. We are al more than the sum of our parts--go ahead amaze yourself.

A " hand of hope " to you.

-

chris_b_11217

10/14/04 4:31:56 PM