Natural Birth

[Guest guest]

Oh boy, this was a subject I was really " into " a while back. I participated

on a debate board, Home vs Hospital, where we discussed the pros and cons of

giving birth in both locations.

 

My thoughts at the time were hospital birth for me, but whatever Mom wants

is what she should get...in other words, pro-choice. You want a home

birth? It should be " legal " , and covered by insurance, and all that jazz.

You want a hospital birth with all the bells and whistles? Well, first,

you should be adequately informed of risks and what-not of meds and that

sort of thing, but if you are in pain, and not getting support to work

through that pain and are asking for relief, you should have access to that

without feeling guilty.

 

I went in with an open mind w/my first-born. Oh, I'll see what's it like,

if it hurts too much, I'll ask for relief. I read a bit regarding

epidurals, and I was " comfortable " with the risks. But, didn't plan on

getting one. Oh, geez, don't even want to talk about that first birth

right now, it's still kinda painful for me...nearly 7 years later.

 

But my Shawn, my second son, well, I was a bit more experienced and educated

and well-rounded and wanted a doula. Unfortunately, my husband nixed that

right away. He got a bit offended...what was I, chopped liver, he says?

(he sucked as a labor coach, but shhh, don't tell him) So, I dropped

that idea, but had severe reservations, as I knew I wouldn't be able to

handle the pain alone, and quite frankly, he just wasn't there for me.

He had a hard time seeing me suffering, and rathering than trying to help,

he just wanted me to get an epidural.

 

My second labor I got all the way to 7 cm, and caved in. I kept thinking,

" how do women DO this without medication?? " Man, all I needed was some

support, someone helping me shift positions, someone convincing me I could

DO this, and birth was probably only a couple more hours away. But I

couldn't do it alone, and although my husband was with me...I was alone, ya

know? So along came the epidural.

 

Although my first birth was long and difficult, the epidural I got was

" light " and not so numbing. Meaning, I was actually able to move my legs,

could feel myself pinching my legs, that sort of thing, although I would

not have been able to support my weight, or anything like that, but at least

I could somewhat " feel " my baby being born. There was some pain, but it

was not intense.

 

With my second, I shoulda complained. The epidural was horrible.

Numbed me totally, and completely stopped labor, so along comes the pitocin.

And although Shawn was born, and it was beautiful and no

complications, I was unable to put weight on one of my legs nearly 12 hours

after the epidural was removed. ABsolutely no feeling in that leg!! Really

ticked me off.

 

So, (sorry for the rambling story), NO, I did not achieve my dream of an

unmedicated birth. Sounds weird, but I was " curious " what it actually felt

like to move the baby down and be born. I mean, I expected there to be

pain, duh!, but for me, the epidurals were just a bit too numbing, at least

the second.

 

My moral of the story is, get a professional doula!! (if you want to go w/o

meds) Seems most husbands are too emotionally attached to be adequate

support. That's not always the case, but if you even suspect, you need

someone else there who can keep focused and objective. That can be

difficult for a man to do as he's watching his child being born.

 

 

 

Christy

BOTANICAL AROMATICS

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[Guest guest]

For my first child I went through a Birth Centre that was attached to the

maternity hospital. It believed in little or no intervention during

delivery. I went in all rosey, fully prepared for it all........the hot

water ran out on me, so there went the calming showers........and after

several hours of getting nowhere I asked for the gass..........after many,

many more hours of being left in the room with only my equally inexperienced

partner and not being even aware of where I was at times, I asked to go to

the labour ward. I got told I could now have a bath if I wanted it or give

in and go to the labout ward, but I opted to go upstairs I was too

exhausted. Went up, had an epidural but not the point that I couldn't feel

it happening, and I could have stood on my own if I needed to. I certainly

calmed down and thought things were getting at least bearable.....until the

midwife took a look at the monitor I was strapped to and said " shit " and ran

out of the room. I then got told I would need a cesar, I begged for one

more chance to birth the baby and they gave it too me...........I didn't

care if there were contractions or not, I just pushed and pushed and my

first son Sean arrived. He was a bit flat, but after a short while I was

allowed to have him with me, but to help moderate his temp I had to sleep

with him against my bare chest all night.

 

My second child I thought I knew better and asked for an epidural straight

away, unfortunately the anethasist was busy and couldn't come up

immediately, but by the time I got there I was still insistent of having the

epidural...........he was a complete butcher and I am so sorry I even

bothered. He scraped my spine, it took him 4 times to get the drip in my

hands (I had blood coming out of me everywhere), he proceeded to call me fat

and told me it was all my fault he couldn't do it right. And when he

finally got the damn thing in it only numbed half of my body.....was a

bizzare experience.

 

So when my third child was born I had no plans, I would just take it as it

went. She came so fast and so hard I had no chance to ask for anything

anyway. The contractions were continuous, no break and by the end I was

begging for pethadine but the midwife was told by me in the beginning that

that was the only thing I was sure I wouldn't resort to.......so she made me

hold out for another 10 mins but Kira was born in about 3 mins after that.

Oh boy did I think I was dieing.

 

So now I sit here 9 weeks pregnant with number 4..........I don't plan on

asking for an epidural immediately, but if I need it to get through, then I

will ask for one..........one thing I have learnt is that all births are

different and should be judged on their individual merits.

 

Sorry this took so long.

Deb

[Guest guest]

 

Re: Natural Birth

 

For my first child I went through a Birth Centre that was attached to

the

maternity hospital.

 

You know, I have to agree with Deb,

My first I went through hours of labor and the dr came in and said

" honey, we're gonna have to put you to sleep, and do a c-section. You

won't dilate, So he put me to sleep and 30 min later my daughter was

born, it was only nerves, soon as he put me to sleep, I dilated and out

popped baby,

Second, I had something called twilight , Never again, I slept through

the whole thing only to wake up the last 3 minutes, felt like someone

was pulling my legs apart like chicken wings to make a wish! LOL

Third- went into labor for 22 hrs again, epidural, baby came great

experience, except he missed my spine too! But I lived through it,

Fourth- decided I wasn't laboring for 22 hrs at hospital so I stayed

home. Oops, almost waited to late, baby came 1 hour after getting to

hospital, got epidural soon as I got there and had him an hour later.

Dr. said it was the easiest 2800, 00 he ever made!

Fifth- same thing I waited, got to hospital, had baby 3 hrs later,

lovely experience.

So I think it just applies to the situation, One thing I can tell you

for sure, don't' be exhausted when you go to the hospital, get plenty

of rest. I think with my first 2, I was to tired to deliver. I had

walked and exercised my heart out, the other 3, I didn't' give a crap.

I was well rested and the deliveries went much better.

Good luck sweetie, in what ever you and the good lord decide for you and

that baby!~ It ultimately comes down to how things go when you arrive

at that spot~Some babies will wait, and take their sweet time, others

won't~

sindy

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Oh you just had to didn't you Chris?

 

Here is why I know I have a very open mind and great experience to back up how

well I can help many mothers achieve the birth THEY wish: my first was an

epidural and wound up with a spinal headache, my second a c-section and I was

knocked out cold because there was NO way anyone was going to stick any needle

in my spine ever again. My third was my natural, unmedicated VBAC baby and that

was my most amazing birth. My fourth was born preemie due to abruptia placenta.

That means the placenta was tearing away from the uterine wall - the belief is

that the placenta attached to scar tissue from my previous c-section a very

scary thing to have happen and a risk no one tells you about as they suggest a

c-section to help you through your 'painful' labor....

 

My first two births I placed myself in the hands of awful Lamaze teachers of the

80s and my doctors' hands. My third birth I placed myself in my own hands -

just trusted that my body was going to work (damn it! LOL) and no one was going

to stop it from doing so. The great thing is that with my third birth (my first

completely natural VBAC) I had a new husband (I am laughing right now .... my

first husband had no clue how to be there for me in more ways than one and I am

sure that is one reason he is my ex). The funny thing is that he had no clue

what to do either BUT he had tremendous faith in me, in my belief that I needed

to follow my heart. He was literally my knight in shining armor absolutely

keeping anyone with a negative thought or attitude away from me. When I was

ready to push the nurse had just come in and seen me peacefully on all fours on

the floor (although inside I was working like crazy). I announced to hubby " I

have to push " . He kissed me, walked out the door and literally yelled 'she's

going to push'...then I heard 'do what you want but she's going to push right

now'....nurse walked right back in with a pissed off look on her face. However,

one look at me and just a glance at my bottom and she went flying down the hall

saying something about someone hurry up this baby is coming now. What

helped me through was simply the ancient spirit of all birthing women. It's

hard work, sometimes it sucks more than at other times but always you are amazed

that your child is going to be born through you on YOUR energy. No one else can

do it for you. Once you accept that energy, give in to the labor, your own body

sends you endorphins as your natural pain relievers. It is why we say in my

circle of birth care: don't have a baby anywhere you wouldn't want to have sex.

That's how free you need to feel to be, act, do whatever it takes for you to

harness your own energy and enjoy your birth or as some women say 'just to be

able to do it.'

 

Now, as far as no one telling you all the risks to pain medications. That is my

major beef with birth educators who work for/in hospitals, are affiliated with

medical practices. They won't ever tell you all that you are risking when you

accept pain meds. For instance, there is no one standard recipe for an

epidural. It can vary by anesthesiologist. For instance, what is in the

epidural is set up as to a woman's height, weight, etc....well, hello...the baby

is a heck of a lot smaller!!

 

Oh I could go on and on but my true gem is the ob that attended my premature

son's birth. I had no intention of taking any pain medication no matter what

because I knew what they can do. However, this ob like many others was

obviously used to women asking for pain meds more often than not. As we

determined that this little baby was coming, no stopping this premature labor

she said " I can't give you any pain medications. They depress a baby's

respiratory system. " She added something else along the lines of my baby's life

already being precarious let's not add to his distress. If only I could have

recorded that for every mother to hear. Never have I heard any medical care

provider tell a laboring mother that drugs add stress to the baby. Of course I

have seen these risks play out at the medicated births I've attended but I've

never heard anyone tell a mother that. Informed consent? Bah. I love when I

have attorneys in my classes. They always refuse to sign any forms in advance.

They always ask to take them home and read them. Other couples feel like they

would be 'rude' to ask for that.

 

I agree that every woman should have a choice about how they wish to labor and

birth. The thing we should be ashamed of is that consumers do not do more to

ensure that every woman have truly informed consent before making her choices.

 

I attended the MCA's forum a couple of years ago and sat among many of the ASPO

Lamaze prominent folks. Interesting discussion we had since I teach The Bradley

Method of natural chidlbirth as well as doing private birth consultations and

doula work. Let me just repeat the comment one of these Lamaze women had to say

about The Bradley Method: " You are so lucky. You get the cream of the crop.

Women who enjoy birth and want to birth. " It was recognized amongst ourselves

that we do want birth friendly initiatives and healthy options available to all

women. The Bradley Method has a very strong emphasis on women advocating for

themselves and their babies. We back it up with providing research that can

dispute any 'benefit' listed for birth interventions. We also work very hard

with couples to teach healthy nutritional habits and healthy birth foundations

focusing on birth as truly being a family event and one event in which the

mother's wishes must come first.

 

Again, I believe women should have KNOWLEDGE in order to make their choices.

But the final thought I wish to leave with all parents and future parents is

this: no matter the choices women make we must support each other. I cringe

when I hear pro-pain med mothers attack natural birth moms and vice versa. What

it boils down to is our inability to support each other feeds the insecurity in

our choices and we do more harm to each other than good when we send negative

energy at each other. We are all mothers and we all love our babies.

 

Visit http://www.motherfriendly.org/news/ for the mother friendly initiative.

Many organizations have joined together to empower women with knowledge and

fighting to decrease the excessive levels of birth interventions that are

inflicted every day around the world without mothers having true informed

consent.

 

Birth is beautiful and your birth experience is forever.

 

 

Dale

(I need a glass of water now)

 

P.S. I had to stop before hitting the send button many times on this one. I am

passionate about supporting pregnant and laboring women. Please forgive me if

any of my sentences ramble or I've made grammer errors or picked up a thought

late into another thought. All errors in other words...please forgive them and

ask for clarification if you'd like!!

 

 

[Guest guest]

>>my 4th ended up being stillborn and I didn't think I could go

through labor for that

 

Karen...I'm so sorry! (((hugs!)))

--

Lisa

An Indigo Rose

~usually unusual~

soap, supplies, and other stuff...

[Guest guest]

Thank you Lisa. That is really sweet of you. It helps to know that

someone cares!

 

Karen J

 

 

Lisa Nelson [An.Indigo.Rose]

Wednesday, October 13, 2004 11:05 PM

 

Re: Natural Birth

 

>>my 4th ended up being stillborn and I didn't think I could go

through labor for that

 

Karen...I'm so sorry! (((hugs!)))

--

Lisa

An Indigo Rose

~usually unusual~

soap, supplies, and other stuff...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Karen -

 

My heart goes out to you. I hope you were able to have a ceremony,

a marking of your child's life for they were certainly here with us.

 

((Karen))

Dale