Guest guest Posted October 27, 2008 Report Share Posted October 27, 2008 I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My Mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' 3. My Mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!' 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC. 'Because I said so, that's why.' 5. My Mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.' 6. My Mother taught me FORESIGHT. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.' 7. My Mother taught me IRONY. 'Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.' 8. My Mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.' 9.. My Mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 'Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!' 10. My Mother taught me about STAMINA. 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.' 11. My Mother taught me about WEATHER. 'This room of your's looks like a tornado went through it.' 12. My Mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 'If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!' 13. My Mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!' 14. My Mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 'Stop acting like your Father!' 15. My Mother taught me about ENVY. 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world Who don't have wonderful parents like you do.' 16. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 'Just wait until we get home!' 17. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING. 'You are going to get it when you get home!' 18. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.' 19. My Mother taught me ESP. 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 20. My Mother taught me HUMOR. 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.' 21. My Mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.' 22. My Mother taught me GENETICS. 'You're just like your Father!' 23. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS. 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?' 24. My Mother taught me WISDOM. 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.' 25. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE. 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2008 Report Share Posted October 28, 2008 Hmmm--this doesn't just sound like my mother, this sounds like me talking! Oh, scary thought! I'm more like my mother than I thought! Becky herbal remedies , Doc <DocShillington wrote: > > **_I OWE MY MOTHER_** > > 1. _My Mother taught me **TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.**_ > > 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished > cleaning.' > > 2. _My Mother taught me **RELIGION.**_ > > 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' > > 3. _My Mother taught me about **TIME TRAVEL.**_ > > 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of > next week!' > > 4. _My Mother taught me **LOGIC.**_ > > 'Because I said so, that's why.' > > 5. _My Mother taught me **MORE LOGIC.**_ > > 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, > > you're not going to the store with me.' > > 6. _My Mother taught me **FORESIGHT.**_ > > 'Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.' > > 7. _My Mother taught me **IRONY.**_ > > 'Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.' > > 8. _My Mother taught me about the science of **OSMOSIS.**_ > > 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.' > > 9.. _My Mother taught me about **CONTORTIONISM.**_ > > 'Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!' > > 10. _My Mother taught me about **STAMINA.**_ > > 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.' > > 11. _My Mother taught me about **WEATHER.**_ > > 'This room of your's looks like a tornado went through it.' > > 12. _My Mother taught me about **HYPOCRISY.**_ > > 'If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!' > > 13. _My Mother taught me the **CIRCLE OF LIFE.**_ > > 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!' > > 14. _My Mother taught me about **BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.**_ > > 'Stop acting like your Father!' > > 15. _My Mother taught me about **ENVY.**_ > > 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world > > Who don't have wonderful parents like you do.' > > 16. _My Mother taught me about **ANTICIPATION.**_ > > 'Just wait until we get home!' > > 17. _My Mother taught me about **RECEIVING.**_ > > 'You are going to get it when you get home!' > > 18. _My Mother taught me **MEDICAL SCIENCE.**_ > > 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that > way.' > > 19. _My Mother taught me **ESP.**_ > > 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' > > 20. _My Mother taught me **HUMOR.**_ > > 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.' > > 21. _My Mother taught me **HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.**_ > > 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.' > > 22. _My Mother taught me **GENETICS.**_ > > 'You're just like your Father!' > > 23. _My Mother taught me about my **ROOTS.**_ > > 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?' > > 24. _My Mother taught me **WISDOM.**_ > > 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.' > > 25. _My Mother taught me about **JUSTICE.**_ > > 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!' > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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