Forgiveness

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Forgiveness

by Andrei YashurinHave you ever wondered why almost all spiritual teachers of the world and many of other great men and women spoke about the importance of forgiveness? It is my conviction that they knew something about the nature of life – something which will benefit us if we will listen to it. I don't think their intention was to burden others. Although the idea of forgiveness is supported by sacred texts, it is not just a religious or a moral issue. Numerous scientific studies indicate that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. Forgiveness makes a person more successful in relationships, in creative expression, and even in finances! However, forgiveness is still a challenge for many people. When we are offended, our feelings of pain might be so intense that we easily dismiss from our minds all the words about importance and benefits of forgiveness. Is there a way to change it? There are various techniques of forgiveness which we may practice. The key word here is to “practice” - that is, we need to make conscious and consistent efforts to bring ourselves in line with what we know. Transformation is up to us. This idea is not always popular with some people. They say, in essence: “This is the way I am, and there is nothing that can be done about it”. However, their assumptions are wrong. We are not what we are – we are what we make ourselves to be. If we realise that some of our patterns of thinking and behavior aren't good for us, we are able to change them. Even though forgiveness is a challenge, we are fully equipped to deal with it. For me, forgiveness is not a side issue. It has to do with some of the fundamental facts about the world where we live. We are not going to prove these facts – the best proof (and in fact, the only proof) would be possible when we will act upon them and see their truthfulness for ourselves. Here are some of these facts: – all things and experiences in the world are interconnected. Nothing “just happens” - all the events have their reason and purpose;– we are creators and masters of our lives. We express our mastery by acting upon creative ideas which come to our minds, by accepting the full responsibility for our life, and by making conscious decisions;– all our life experiences results from our choices. Those choices might be conscious or unconscious. We might forget about those choices (just the way we forgot what happened with us before we were born), but they still affect our lives;– some experiences are painful, but no experience is destructive to who we are. No experience can ever be threatening to the core of our being;– no experience is a punishment, every experience is a lesson. Unwillingness to forgive results from ignorance of these fundamental facts of life. When we are offended and when we are in pain, we simply refuse to admit that we've created that experience, and that we've created it for our own benefit. We deny our responsibility for that experience, so we cannot learn anything from it. Acting in ignorance leads us to greater ignorance. My personal observation convinces me that there is a direct relation between ignorance and unforgiveness. An offended person, a resentful person, is always a person with a distorted perspective. Sometimes, he or she doesn't see the most evident things. Let us also note that forgiveness is not something which we impose upon ourselves. Through forgiveness, we return to ourselves. Forgiveness is a normal human condition, while unforgiveness is abnormal. Once we learn to practice forgiveness, we would wonder how we ever lived without it before.